By Kaare Askildt
(A.K.A. – Farmer in Training)
Our age progression is rather interesting.
When we were toddlers, our parents would always brag about our ages, but when we started to talk, we took care of that ourselves. Before the age of 10, we always stayed on the smaller number until the next birthday, as in ‘we’re only five.’ Therefore, not much, other than being potty trained, was expected of us.
However, I always made sure that everybody knew that my twin brother was older than me, in the hope that people would see me as the cuter one, earning me more goodies. After 10, we measured our ages in half years. For example, we’re 11 and a half, and we might know everything.
But then we approached the teen years and we had almost achieved the higher number – we’re almost 13, and don’t give us any static about our room! It is this way ‘cause that’s how we like it!
At 16, I was on my own as by then, my twin brother had hired on as a deck hand on a freighter and was sailing on the seven seas. I could drive a car or a motorbike if I lived in Canada.
At the age of 18, I got my driver’s license in Norway and I became eligible to vote and drink in bars. I was the wisest person in the entire world! I knew everything and was astounded that my parents had made it as far as they had, with such total lack of knowledge.
Shortly after our 18th birthdays, my brother came home from sailing the seven seas, sharing knowledge and experiences that were beyond his age!
Then we made it to 20. That was our first milestone – making it in spite of all the trouble our parents and older sibling had laid on us! We were young and cocky, on top of our game, and in hot pursuit of the opposite sex!
My brother got married first and I followed shortly after, and then we turned 30. Notice how our lives now turned for the better, and while working hard we reached 40. We were almost at the top of the hill. It was like we had reached out with both our arms and pulled to make sure we made that number. We had some spills and thrills and enjoyed life!
We clawed our way up the last 10 miles of the steep incline and attained 50. Whew! We really were on top of the hill, and letting the world know that we had arrived!
That’s when it dawned on us that we’re getting older, as our children were suggesting that we’re a little shy in the knowledge department. Then we started on the downhill slippery slope. When we slid into 60, we applauded ourselves on our achievement, and went to the West Edmonton Mall dressed to look alike and pranked out anybody we met. The poor clerk at the haberdashery will probably have to take Prozac for the rest of her life.
The downhill slide continued and we arrived at the curve for our 70th milestone – still standing and ready for the sprint to the finish.
My brother was called to come over to the other side just recently, but I’m sure he’ll be waiting for me at the finish line. After some fine tuning of my wonderful body, I’m celebrating my 72nd birthday. However, the original birthday suit has gotten a bit saggy, a little wrinkled and tight in some places, but who cares! Yahoo! I’m still on this side of the grass!