Boogers, dirty diaper slingshots and cockroaches - that's what children's author Sigmund Brouwer talked about with students in the Battlefords in mid-May.
His message, however, was that reading and writing can be fun, especially if it evokes feelings or grosses out the teachers.
"We get lost in nice feelings, but here's what's strange; we get lost in not-so-nice feelings too," said Brouwer.
Brouwer was in the Battlefords thanks to his friend, John Paul II Collegiate teacher Sheldon Revet, who arranged for him to make a stop in the Battlefords after hearing he would be in the region on his Rock and Roll Literacy tour.
"He's awesome to watch," said Revet, who also brought Brouwer to the Battlefords a few years back. "His main goal is just to get the kids fired up about reading."
Brouwer rocked his way through École Monseigneur Blaise Morand, McKitrick Community School, Bready School, Holy Family School, St. Mary School and Connaught Community School, as well as making a short stop at John Paul II Collegiate.
His high-energy presentations had students laughing and dancing, as he used a variety of music - from the Jaws theme song to Eye of the Tiger - to showcase how songs and music can influence a person's feelings.
"In general, stories and music make a connection with kids," said Brouwer. "I focus on giving them stories that they like and playing them music that they like in hopes of getting them to read more and understand how to write."
In between blaring music at the audience from his impressive sound system, the Alberta-based author explained the three R's of writing - it has to be the right story for the right audience at the right time. The same goes for songs, said Brouwer, illustrating his point by asking the students which of the songs he played were more appropriate for an anniversary dinner with his wife.
A self-described "awful" English student, Brouwer said when he attended school the emphasis was on writing as opposed to stories, which took the fun out of it from the get-go.
"The fact that I struggled with English makes me very sympathetic to [students'] struggles," said Brouwer, adding he's discovered the best way to get kids into reading and writing is to focus on stories that are sad, scary, gross, exciting - anything with an emotional impact.
For reading, he told students instead of asking their librarian for a "good" book, they should ask for a book that will make them feel a certain way, such as a book that would make them laugh or make them scared. He also encouraged kids to put a book back if the first couple pages don't interest them, and pick one that does.
Brouwer told students his wife was hounding him to read Anne of Green Gables, which he insisted would be boring. Eventually she convinced him to give it a try, with the condition he would put it down the second he got bored.
"I had to say to my wife, 'you're right, I'm wrong, Anne of Green Gables is a great book,'" said Brouwer, explaining it captivated him because the author made him care about the protagonist.
As for writing, he explained to students the importance of having a protagonist facing a problem, which gets worse and worse and is eventually solved. But above all, said Brouwer, every story should have a hook, whether that hook is a hockey player stripping on the ice to rid his uniform of cockroaches, or a dare to stick fingers up the nose of a seemingly dead bull.
"When your teacher asks you to write a story, your job is to hook him or her and mess with their feelings," he told students.
Brouwer, who visits around 100 schools per year, proved to be adept at this, as he alternately had students giggling and groaning.
"When kids laugh, I love it," said Brouwer, who has two young daughters. "I remember what it was like to be a kid so I'm trying to write stories that I would have loved as a kid."
Brouwer emphasizes the fact that kids who are adept at reading and writing are generally more successful in life, and enjoying reading and writing is a sure way of becoming good at it.
Although Brouwer has penned over 70 children's books, and a number of teen novels, he has also written adult books, including the newly released Rock and Roll Literacy, which offers advice and suggestions to help teachers and parents motivate and teach kids how to read and write effectively and with enjoyment.
