By the time you read this the 24-hour news cycle may have shifted to a topic other than the royal baby. I don't pay much attention to the modern way of following the news - not minute by minute, but second by second. I find it tiresome, and in the case of events such as Alberta's floods, alarming, depressing and downright unhealthy.
My newsroom colleagues tuned into the "baby bash" however, so I couldn't help but notice it going on. I also was breathlessly updated as I tuned into my daily fix of CBC Radio news on The Morning Edition.
So now that the little dude has a name, hopefully the world can move on. It's a decent name too, by my reckoning, but it is really too bad the royals have such a limited pool of names to choose from - William, Albert, Charles and a long list of other, stodgy British handles.
Many are saying George Alexander Louis is a heavy moniker to saddle a little baby with. True, but we also know he's going to grow into it. In the meantime, I knew a George once, he was known as Buck. Maybe that will catch on. Let's hope not!
Back to the name pool. The trend in recent years has been to throw the alphabet dice in a hat, shake them up and draw a few at random to make up some wonderful "new" name that will likely have the child being harassed and bullied throughout their school years.
I want to be a vocal opponent of made up names, but I have nieces and nephews who have composed some of these for their children, so I have to hold back the rhetoric. In fact, some of them have unusual names that I've become accustomed to over the years.
But just for fun, I thought I'd take the letters used in the new royal baby's name and do some rearranging to see what I can come up with. (I've been playing frequent rounds of Word Warp on my iPod recently, being stuck in the doldrums of the summer non-news cycle.)
Here's a couple I came up with: Grego Xalander Soli, Roege Lexa Uliso, Ogreg Dexaler Ilso.
OK, OK, point made. Besides it's difficult to shake up Louis and come up with something that can be pronounced. And you can pronounce these offerings any way you please, not like the grand aunt who must wrack her brain and come up with the proper pronunciation of Akosha, Verix, Zayden or Lochlan and the list doesn't end there. I have them memorized, but it wasn't easy.
On the grandmother front, I have it much easier. My one and only grandson - who is by far cuter than the royal baby (what kind of grandmother would I be if I didn't make that pronouncement?) - is Alfred. "Alfred!" people would exclaim with an expression of amazement and horror when I replied to their queries about the new arrival's name. "Hey," I'd say, "what's wrong with that? It's a real name!"
And Alfred he is, not Al, not Alfie, just good solid Alfred and having seen his development so far, if anyone at school wants to make an issue of if, that individual might be in for some trouble of their own.
Long live George Alexander Louis and may he someday occupy the throne of England. I know I won't be around to see it, but maybe Alfred and his oddly named cousins will.
