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Day of Listening promotes the importance of being a better listener

Listening is so very important in our world
Day of Listening
Sharon Duffala is a Professional Listener who operates a service “Good Ears Listening.”

KENNEDY - With so many people glued to their TVs, phones, computers and social media, the art of listening has almost gone out the window.  

It’s time to shut the world out and take time to really pay attention to what your spouse, kids, co-workers and friends are saying, thinking and feeling. 

That’s the importance of recognizing the International Day of Listening, which was Sept. 16 this year with the 2021 theme being “Listen to Connect.” 

Sharon Duffala of Kennedy is a member of the International Listening Association which is for anyone who deals with listening to people. The association has professional listeners around the world. A professional listener is fully present and attentive, offering support without judgment or agenda. 

Duffala is a professional listener who owns a service called Good Ears Listening, with clients throughout Saskatchewan as well as across Canada and the U.S. She is there for you to unburden your emotions, concerns, or fears during trying times or crisis. 

Duffala’s services are endorsed by Dr. Erica Roets out of Whitewood/Moosomin and Dr. Donald MacRae, who is a psychiatrist out of Carlyle. If they think their patients are just in need of a listener, they refer them to Duffala. Some patients might not necessarily be looking for a cure but just need someone to talk to, share their feelings with and are in need of a good listener. 

Duffala thought that this would be a good time to promote the awareness of listening and the importance of it, and bring public attention to the whole idea of listening. 

Tips to becoming a better listener include: 

Value listening. Consciously choose to listen more and listen better. 

Listen with an open mind to what the speaker has to say. 

Let the speaker finish talking before you respond. 

First, listen to understand, not to respond. 

Look for verbal and nonverbal clues about how important this message is to the speaker. 

Listen for strong emotional content of the message, as well as the meaning of the words. 

Be aware of culture differences, age differences and gender differences in how people speak to each other and how they listen to each other. They may be expecting different indicators of listening and respect. 

Reflect back what you’ve heard if that seems appropriate. 

Respond in a way that shows that you have listened and follow up with future actions to show that you listened. 

Prepare to listen. Get rid of internal and external distractions. 

“We’re usually listening and thinking how we’re going to respond to a person but listening isn’t about responding, it’s about simply listening to what the other person is saying,” explains Duffala. 

“Not a lot of people do that consciously anymore,” adds Duffala. “The value of listening has been put on the back burner.”  

“You’re not going to agree with everybody, but that’s not the point of listening,” says Duffala, who adds, “It’s just to hear what they’re saying and make people feel acknowledged and make that human connection.” 

And that happens to be the theme of this year’s day – Listen to Connect. 

Not many people have heard of a professional listener and what they are all about. 

Duffala goes to explain: 

“We cover subjects such as isolation, separation, grief, loss, family dynamics, relationships, workplace issues, or whether you’re feeling sad, lonely or happy, and have no one to share it with … it means a lot when you can connect with someone else.” 

“I’ve always been an empath which enables me to connect with the emotions of others, and feel them myself.” 

“It’s years and years of connecting with people on this level … I’ve been doing this for many, many years.” 

“Through the Listening Association, they offer training and courses to bring the listeners up to date on how to listen which I find informative as well.” 

“I have no professional degree or specific training but it’s who I am naturally.” 

Duffala says over the years of listening to other people’s problems or issues, being the empathic person she is, it can sometimes be overwhelming feeling like she’s also taking on the world’s problems. 

“I have to be careful to set aside time for myself and categorize what is the emotion of someone else as opposed to letting it affect me.” 

Duffala meets all sorts of people from all walks of life and she hopes she can help some of them along the way. 

“Some people just want to talk, some people want advice, it’s really all about the other person. It’s not about me, it’s not about what I want or what I think you should do.” 

Letting the other person talk and just listening and acknowledging and hearing what they’re saying, it’s possible for that person to gain some insight just from saying things out loud. 

“People are looking for different things and everything a person says is private and confidential,” reassures Daffala. 

“I might make recommendations depending on what their situation is.” 

“All kinds of people want someone to listen to them for many different reasons.” 

“But you find that connection to another human being is really important”. 

“In this society now, we’re sometimes getting further and further away.” 

Having someone to talk to can have a profound and healing effect on your emotional well-being. 

You can’t learn if you’re not listening.