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Do I have to feel these feelings?

Feeling our emotions, rather than suppressing them, makes a big difference to our mental health. Emotions can sit in your body, building and adding pressure to your well-being like a balloon.

Feeling our emotions, rather than suppressing them, makes a big difference to our mental health. Emotions can sit in your body, building and adding pressure to your well-being like a balloon. When your body and mind are at capacity for holding in emotions, this balloon will pop.

Things that you could normally handle can push you over the edge at any moment. When our emotions explode, it might be an angry outburst onto loved ones, strangers or our animals. The release of pressure can come out in other ways too, such as increased self-loathing or even self-harm.

Historically, a stumbling block to being vulnerable is that we equate showing emotion with weakness. Let’s challenge this idea; as author and professor Brené Brown says, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

Here are two ways to feel and process your own emotions, rather than suppressing them:

1. Try purge journaling. This is writing without censoring how you are feeling in that moment. The purge part refers to destroying what you wrote in a way that suits you such as deleting it, burning it or shredding it. There are times when processing your emotions and letting go can be difficult. If it feels too soon for you to “purge” your writing, keep it contained in a safe place until you are ready.

2. Another way to do a similar process is called empty chair. Empty chair is where you imagine you are speaking with the person or to the situation that caused the emotional response, pretending they are sitting in an empty chair. You may choose to move to the other chair to respond to yourself.

The emotional brain during both these processes is able to work through some of these feelings without the stress or anxiety of sharing in front of another person. We recommend that after processing your emotions to engage in any grounding technique or healthy distraction to shift your head space back into the present.

Sharing your feelings with another person is the next step. To talk to a counsellor, contact Envision Counselling and Support Centre to find out more about our rapid access programs like walk-in counselling and Bridging the Distance. These programs accommodate both in-person and telephone needs. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please call 911.