You most likely missed the milestone that went zipping by last week. In fact, I was the only one who noticed it, but it's worth sharing: Last week's column was No. 300 since this exercise began back in late 2007.
Those who know me know about my penchant for statistics, so 300 columns at an average of 825 words per column, many of them pertinent, comes to a grand total of 247,500 words. That's only 2,500 away from a quarter of a million, or approximately the number of dollars earned by Alex Rodriguez for playing two games of baseball for the Yankees.
My first column offering was sent out in December, 2007, and zoned in on Tiger Woods and his chase for 18 majors. He was at 13 then and after winning his 14th the next summer at Torrey Pines, his life spiralled into about 63 different directions and he hasn't won a major since. Column No. 2 asked the question: Who's better - Martin or Howard, and we're still having that discussion six years later as Canada's best curling teams prepare for the Olympic trials in Winnipeg in December. Other names are in that Martin-Howard mix, though, such as Stoughton, McEwen, Koe, Jacobs and Gushue. Column No. 3 was about the George Mitchell report. If that name doesn't ring a bell, Mitchell was responsible for the report on performance-enhancing drugs in baseball and in the six years since, the stain on the game has become indelible.
So what have the columns been about since? Hockey and baseball lead the way, naturally. Eighty-seven columns have been about NHL-related topics while major-league baseball was the focus in 67 others. And for those who suggest I have a Tiger Woods fetish, they may be right: 44 men's golf columns were written, and probably half of those were about Tiger. He was quite the newsmaker, though, over the last five years, and I make no apologies.
Topics have varied greatly, however. Thirty-five columns were about football - 16 CFL-related and 19 about the NFL. Sixteen were about curling and 11 centred on women's golf. Eleven others were Olympics-related and eight featured junior hockey in Canada. During my recent count, I found four about tennis and three about the NBA (sorry, hoopsters). The other 14 were categorized under 'miscellaneous' - auto racing, negativity in sports, snowboarding, year-end quips roundups, etc.
I'm not naive enough to think that readers scan this space weekly for my words of wisdom at the top. The most popular part, obviously, is the series of quips in the latter portion and for that, I give great thanks to some of the funniest people I've encountered and from whom I steal (and liberally attribute): Dwight Perry of Seattle, RJ Currie of Calgary, Janice Hough and Scott Ostler of San Francisco, Greg Cote of Miami, Brad Dickson of Omaha, Cam Hutchinson of Saskatoon, Ian Hamilton of Regina, Norman Chad of Washington and Alex Kaseberg of who-knows-where, and many others. They all add to my chucklefest weekly and, on behalf of my readers, I thank them.
This isn't a goodbye column. This is Column No. 301. And plenty more to come.
Norman Chad of the Washington Post, on Twitter: "Bengals just got roughing-the-passer penalty for not saying, 'Bless you,' when Tom Brady sneezed."
Another one from Chad: "When you go to an NFL game, you're surrounded by people who, if they were with you on a cruise, you would jump off the ship. I went to a Raiders-Chargers game once; I would've felt safer at a Manson family reunion."
Cote again: "Nick Saban suspended Alabama star safety Ha Ha Clinton-Dix for violating team rules. "I don't find that funny," said Ha Ha."
Currie again: "NASCAR's Danica Patrick will co-host the American Country Awards. And why not? Her marriage broke up, she's got a dog, drives a Chevy and all her chases end in heartache."
Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald: "The Denver Broncos were favoured over the Jacksonville Jaguars by 27 points, the largest spread in NFL history. Jacksonville players would have better odds of winning something if they stay home and bought Powerball lottery tickets."
Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: "Oddsmakers installed the Broncos as a record 27-point favourite over the Jaguars (on Oct. 12). To put that in perspective, even Custer got 25 1/2 at Little Big Horn."
Dickson again: "There was a streaker at the Presidents Cup. Cops were going to bust her for indecent exposure, but then realized that'd mean they'd also have to arrest 80 golfers in plaid pants, striped shirts and white shoes."
CBS's David Letterman, on awards week in Stockholm: "The Nobel Prize for chemistry once again went to the Yankee Stadium hot dog."
NBC's Jay Leno, after President Obama said the Redskins should consider changing their nickname: "He didn't stop there. He also said the New York Giants should consider changing their sport."
Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel: "By the time you finished reading this sentence, Eli Manning will have thrown three more interceptions."
