I recently read an article in People magazine that encouraged some of our favorite stars to reveal what life lessons they wish they'd known when they were just starting out. What advice would they give their younger self.
As I read through them, one in particular caught my eye. It was from the U.S. First Lady, Michelle Obama. She said, "If I could give my younger self just one piece of advice, it would be this. Stop being so afraid! That's what really strikes me when I look back - the sheer amount of time I spent tangled up in fears and doubts that were entirely of my own creation. I was afraid of not knowing the answer in class and looking stupid, or worried about what some boy thought of me, or wondering whether the other girls liked my clothes or my hair, or angsting about some offhand comment someone made to me in the lunchroom. I would love to go back in time and tell my younger self, 'Michelle, these middle and high school years are just a tiny blip in your life."
She went on to say, "Walk away from 'friendships' that make you feel small and insecure."
Now, that's some great advice. It made me further investigate if this attitude or sense of strength in life was an age thing or an intellect thing. Since the First Lady is a lawyer and writer, (and I'm neither), I figure it has to be an age thing as we're 'approximately' in the same age bracket.
When I was in my late twenties, thirties and forties, my time was taken up with raising my children. I went about my day-to-day activities ensuring that my children would grow up to be functioning adults. After all, that's our job as parents, right? It was not until I was thrown into the situation of losing both my parents within a short time, that I really stepped back and "smelled the roses" as the saying goes.
Unlike Mrs. Obama, my advice to my younger self would not be to "stop being so afraid." Without a doubt, my advice would be to live every day to its fullest. I've heard this saying a billion times, but not until recently have I truly understood what it really means. I've become very aware of the quantity of time I have been given. I have begun to make conscious decisions on how I spend my time because as you know, once it's spent you can't get it back.
I once heard that we are here to make memories for our children. I haven't quite bought into that saying yet, but I certainly am more aware of the importance of how I will spend my time. I find myself weighing the importance of anything related to time. I'm trying to avoid doing things that just a short time ago I felt I had to. The preciousness of this unforeseen 'tick tock' is ever present.
I refuse to spend my time trying to make others happy. I refuse to spend my time doing things that I don't want to do. I refuse to spend my time reading toxic Facebook posts. I refuse to spend my time with people who don't appreciate me. I refuse to allow people to take my time and frivolously use it. I do things like sit in my vehicle and listen to the rest of a song from the 70's that has me rocking to the tune at 7:00 in the morning. The girls at the gym think I'm always running late, but what they don't know is that I've been up since 5:30 or 6:00 a.m. and I'm sitting in my vehicle enjoying a song that I ACTUALLY know the words to. At that moment, I don't care if I'm late working out. I pay to work my butt off, so if I'm sitting in my vehicle singing ‘Knock Three Times’ at the top of my lungs, well then, that is what I choose to do with MY time.
I know that people of my generation totally understand what I'm talking about and if you don't - you will - very soon. My parents always said "someday, you'll understand" and man 'o' man, I'm totally 'getting' it more and more each day.
I spent 2014 writing a Pet Peeve each month. This year, I've decided to change it around and recognize a saying that I appreciate in my life.
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one."
- Elbert Hubbard
