Someone you know has been affected by sexualized violence - whether you know it or not. Statistics Canada has found that one in three girls and one in six boys have been sexually abused by the time they are eighteen (Statistics & Research).Could you help someone who has experienced it?
Now is the time to learn.
Sexualized violence is an overarching term used to describe any violence, physical or psychological, carried out through sexual means or by targeting sexuality. Sexualized violence encompasses all forms of unwanted sexual contact as well as name calling, sexual humiliation, and sexual targeting.
Over the past number of weeks, members from the Yorkton Partnership Against Violence Committee have been submitting articles regarding the various types of violence that individuals, unfortunately, have to deal with. Everything from elder abuse to bullying to dating violence has been focused on to help you gain an understanding of what violence is and who it can affect. When it comes to sexual violence, the effects are even more intense due to the very private nature of the violent act.
People seem to have the most difficulty discussing, realizing and understanding what this type of violence can be. Sexual violence is not just the rape of a woman in a back alley by a stranger. Sexual violence happens when you are forced to engage in any sexual act or behaviour against your will. No means no, at any time. If you want to be intimate with someone, remember that you can still change your mind.
What can I do to be safe?
Sexual assault is harder to prevent than other types of crimes because it is part of a serious social problem that occurs when a person thinks they have a right to access your body. According to what victims have reported from the General Social Survey, less than one in ten sexual assaults were reported to police. (Brennan and Taylor-Butts, 2008).
The following precautions can aid to avoid being sexually assaulted.
Trusting people
When you go out or travel (walking or driving somewhere), do so with people that you trust to look out for your safety.
When you are at a gathering, make sure that someone knows where you are at all times. Check on your friends to make sure they are safe too.
Be aware that, while it in no way justifies sexual assault or rape, going off by yourself can make it easier for someone to isolate and assault you.
If you do not feel well and need to lie down, make sure that a friend stays with you to check on you.
It may not be safe to be intimate with someone if you or they have been drinking or using other substances.
Traveling home
Avoid travelling home alone from bars or parties.
Organize safe, reliable transportation back home. Always carry enough cash for a taxi or bus ride.
Keep your cellular phone handy to call for help.
Call out for help if you suspect you are in danger or ask someone for help.
If you must return home alone, be sure to walk on busy, well-lit streets.
Be aware of your surroundings.
Be aware of people that seem to be following you.
Don't be afraid to make a lot of noise or to make a scene.
Drinking and impairment
Drinking weakens your judgment and your means of self-defense.
Drugs are often used to incapacitate victims. These drugs can be colorless, odorless, and tasteless and can be slipped into your drink. Sometimes called "date rape drugs," these drugs can also seriously harm your health or even kill you. Keep these precautions in mind:
Never leave your drink unattended. A trusted friend can be distracted.
If you cannot take your drink with you, either finish your drink before you go to the washroom or abandon it.
If you are at the bar, watch the bartender pour your drink from the tap or make the drink.
You may not remember what happened to you if someone puts drugs into your drink and assaults you. If you wake up in a place but don't know how you got there, you should tell someone what has happened.
Anyone can help prevent sexual violence! Here's how:
Be a good friend - keep an eye on your friends to make sure they are safe.
If you see someone approaching a friend in a way that seems to make them uncomfortable, do something. Be alert, ask and offer help.
State your desires clearly and ask permission. If you want to be intimate with someone, make sure there is consent. If they do not want to be intimate, stop right away.
Get consent every time you want to engage in sexual contact. Just because the person says yes the first time does not mean they are giving you permission to have sexual contact in the future.
If a person is unconscious or if their judgment is impaired, they cannot consent to have sex.
Being drunk is not an excuse for having sexual contact with someone against their will.
Don't use words that insult someone sexually. This is a lack of respect. Speak up if you hear someone insulting someone else.
Sexual violence happens to men as well - there is nothing to be ashamed about if you are sexually assaulted. (*Bohmer, C & Andrea Parrot (1993), Sexual Assault on Campus, Lexington Books, New York)
The consequences of sexual violence can be numerous and disastrous for the victim and their family/friends. Alcohol and drug abuse, un-safe sexual behaviors, depression, time lost from work, loss of relationships are just a few of these consequences.
Talking about sexual violence can be very uncomfortable, which makes it understandable why a lot of people may not tell someone if they have been a victim. However, if you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, we encourage you to talk to your local police service or local hospital/health clinic. There are resources available in your community that can help, and we encourage you to seek them out.
Who you can tell:
parents
trusted friends
trusted teacher
school counsellor
social worker or youth counsellor
any trusted adult
crisis hotline (Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868)
child welfare agency
police department
hospital
mental health centre
sexual assault centre
distress centre
community centre
We can all take steps to stay safe and in control of our actions. By taking on this responsibility, you empower yourself and take away the control from the offender.
For more information on Sexual Violence and prevention ideas contact:
Sherise Fountain
Child Protection Case Assistant
Ministry of Social Services - Yorkton
Phone: (306)786-1300
Email: [email protected]
Also: Deal.org: http://deal.org/the-knowzone/violence/sexual-abuse-and-harassment/
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