Dealing with postpartum depression can be challenging, and often people shy away from seeking help.
So Thursday the Family Resource Centre in the city held an evening with Carla O'Reilly, the woman behind 'The Smiling Mask-Truths about Postpartum Depression and Parenthood'.
O'Reilly said she undertook to write the book because of her own experiences.
"I had struggled with Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive disorder for four years, when my family moved to Regina and I stumbled upon the YMCA postpartum support group," she told Yorkton This Week. "I lived in a terrifying world of fear shame and sadness, and I thought I was the only one struggling.
"I was wrong."
O'Reilly said she found support and friendship through the group/
"I met my twin Tania Bird; I will never forget the day we met. I walked into the group and I was scared and nervous, she stood up and shook my hand and said, 'My name is Tania Bird, I have postpartum psychosis, I have thoughts of harming my daughter, I have been to the psych ward and I am not ashamed!'," recalled O'Reilly.
"Flashing lights and sirens went off in my head and I realized I was no longer alone. Tania and I became very close and one night when we went for coffee she started to share all her goals and her dreams. She turned to me and said, 'so what is your dream?' I turned to her and said, I want to write a book to help mothers with postpartum depression. I don't want anyone to suffer the way we have suffered!
"We followed our dream and found a publisher named Peggy Collins and another mother named Elita Paterson and the Smiling Mask was written in 40-weeks, we called it the birthing of our second baby!
"That was six years ago, to-date we have spoken over 200 times including print, media and radio to destroy the stigma along with speaking across Canada at 11 medical conferences. We have sold 1900 smiling mask books nationally and internationally and are selling books, documentaries and workbooks weekly. Women are looking to start healing and that begins with destroying the mask and asking for help."
So have the authors been surprised by the response in the sense one might have thought there was a level of understanding of the subject already?
"Seven years ago, there was very little education about this silent and secretive illness. People weren't talking about," said O'Reilly. "We wanted to give a face to this illness and be a voice for the 2600 women that struggle annually with it. One-in-five women struggle with this illness, we think that number is actually a lot higher as it is not being reported.
"Unfortunately we only hear about the tragic events of suicide, or infanticide. We want to stop that and have made tremendous change with the MotherFirst report with is actually pioneering the way for maternal mental health in Saskatchewan. We are working closely with the government to make change and Health Minister Dustin Duncan actually proclaimed May 7, as Maternal Mental Health Day.
"Having mothers educated and knowing what supports are available is the number one way to stop this illness from escalating.
"At the end of the day, our dream is to create a legacy for our children's children. For them to look back and be proud of what their mommies did to create awareness , and hopefully to have destroyed this epidemic. We want a brighter future for our children and it starts with the mother."
But, why if so widespread is postpartum depression is still misunderstood?
"I think this illness, as with many mental illnesses has been misunderstood because it cannot be seen," said O'Reilly. "But I think we are on the cusp of knowing that women need to be supported and nurtured during the time of becoming a new parent. We need to go back to the way of "it takes a village to raise a child", to let go the myth of the perfect mother and really let parents know that it is okay to ask for help or to demand it.
"I say in our documentary, 'if a mother had a broken arm would you send her home from the hospital and say, that is okay, you'll be fine, suck it up.' I was sent home to battle terrifying thoughts of harming my son and medicated to battle it on my own. It was wrong and it could have been tragic. I am grateful to see now all the supports and awareness that is available."
While postpartum depression is not the same for all, O'Reilly said there are some common things people should remember;
• Get educated on PPD, visit our website at www.thesmilingmask .com which is chock full of information
• If you are struggling get help right away, find out what supports are available by talking to your health nurse or doctor.
• Finally, if you are struggling start healing! Our sequel, Behind the Mask -Trust, Adjust and Transform your Life! Is all about me forgiveness. We teach the most powerful healing tool is forgiveness, I forgive you, I forgive me and I set myself free. The truth will set you free, destroy the mask and move forward to love your children and be the best parent you can be!
