Thor crushes nonbelievers with a hammer

Thor (DVD/Blu-Ray) - Dir. Kenneth Branagh. Starring Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins.
The Marvel Comics summer movie parade continues.

On the day he was to be crowned king of the mystical realm of Asgard by his father Odin (Anthony Hopkins), the Norse god Thor is instead banished to Earth without his powers for acting like a jackass.

But Thor (Chris Hemsworth, who, scarily enough, possesses something actually resembling the gorilla-like "comic book hero" physique) needs to redeem himself quickly when his father falls into a godly coma and his brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston, who we know is evil because he has dark hair and the complexion of a tuberculosis patient) starts plotting against them both.

The story brings no surprises: it's the standard hero's journey crossed with the standard fish out of water comedy.

With no time to fit in the nuances of fifty years of comic book canon, every character is made into a pure archetype (a grumpier viewer might say "stereotype"). The arrogant but well-meaning Thor, his squad of warrior buddies (in all their token diversity-there's the Asian one, the tough girl, and I think I spotted the black guy in a wheelchair), his benevolent yet strict father, and his awkward, giggly love interest (Natalie Portman) are all familiar enough that we can skip the introductions.

The romance is contrived, the minor characters are annoying, and the comic relief is forced. But somehow, I found that my ever-growing list of complaints never added up to anything tangible. As a complete package, Thor is as good a take on the genre as anyone could reasonably hope for. It has Anthony Hopkins shouting at people. The story, like Avatar, is utterly derivative but highly polished. Director Kenneth Branagh always hits his dramatic beats on cue. The special effects are spectacular in a tasteless rock concert kind of way, and the production design far surpasses other recent mythology-based films like Clash of the Titans.

It's brainless and inoffensive, yet somehow avoids being bland.

Rated PG-13 for "Hammer of Thor" innuendo potential.
4 out of 5

Bridesmaids (DVD/Blu-Ray) - Dir. Paul Feig. Starring Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne.
Amusing but irritating girl comedy.

At a low point in her life, Annie (writer/star Kristen Wiig) is thrilled to be picked as her best friend's maid of honor. But she is soon consumed by jealousy over a rich and pretty new addition to the bridal party (Rose Byrne).

With jokes revolving around pooping a wedding dress, a fat person sex tape, and an endless series of Ben Stiller-esque humiliations for the main character, Bridesmaids at times seems determined to prove that women can be just as lowbrow as men. But this tendency is balanced by enough consistently witty dialog that the film finally becomes more of a talking comedy than a situational one. Most of the conversations have nothing to do with anything, but they're funny.

The movie runs more than two hours, which is at least half an hour too long. The plot is aimless, but eventually finds its way.

Bridesmaids might feature the most loathsome cast of characters of any film since Oliver Hirschbiegel's Downfall.

Almost all of them-male and female-are whiny and pouty, but none can challenge the main character, Annie: a neurotic, petty, attention-seeking, prideful high-maintenance machine deserving of all the unhappiness that comes to her. Outrageously, after her cheese-grater personality finally leaves her isolated, reconciliation arrives through all of her friends apologizing to her instead of the other way around.

One breath of relief is Melissa McCarthy's character, a bumbling oaf who resembles a female Ricky Gervais. She's given a streak of common sense that makes her more than just a caricature, but is unfortunately one of the only characters to receive this treatment.

Bridesmaids manages enough successful jokes to overcome its faults, but only barely.

Rated R for undeserved happy ending.
3 out of 5