My first wife and I left Norway way back in 1968 to come to Canada. We settled for a while in Vancouver, where we found jobs and I worked hard trying to get a good command of the English language.
There was a large Asian population in Vancouver and BC’s lower mainland. Listening to the Asians speaking English did at times cause some confusion for me with respect to how to pronounce certain words. I’ll let you in on a well-known secret, that when Norskies like myself initially tried to speak English, we used to have problems with properly enunciating “t” and “h” when they are close together. It usually came out like a “d.” And of course we were confused with the letters “v” and “w.” That was a hard one because in the Norwegian language “w” is not pronounced as a double “u,” rather it is pronounced the same as a “v.”
Like the young athlete sitting on a bench in the in-field during a track-and-field competition. An official walked up to him and asked, “are you a pole-vaulter?’ “No!” he replied, “I’m Norvegian, but hov did you knov that my name was Valter?”
“Dra ditpepper’ngror!” is a saying in Norwegian which means “get lost” but translates in English to “go to where they grow peppers!” That is what my brothers told me after I had pranked them out in retaliation for the teasing they had subjected me to over the years. Of course I cannot tell my nieces and nephews that their father banned me from Norway, so it is still a secret, well sort of!
In Vancouver I realized that I had indeed arrived in one of the places on this earth where peppers are grown. Huge farms just outside Vancouver were run by Asian farmers who were growing peppers to beat the band!
Some Asian immigrants also have problems with pronunciation of the English language, so when I went to talk to one of the prosperous Asian dirt farmers about peppers, we spoke a new form of Engrish; eh, English. English is a second language for both of us, and due to our mutual accents it was much easier for us to understand each other.
I have experienced ignorant people where English was their mother tongue, and they did not speak another language. They would make fun of my accent and pretend that they did not understand what I was trying to say by shaking their head and walking away, but on with the story.
There I was speaking Norse-English with my strong accent, and the conversation went something like this:
Me in my sing-song accent: “Hov are yu?” Looking around I said, “Dis looks like a big farm!”
Farmer: “You speak funny Engrish! Where ah you flom?”
Me: “I’m from Norvay! Is this part of Wancouwer?”
Farmer: “No, this is Sully! How can I help you?”
Me: “Ah, dis is Surrey! Say, can yu please shov me hov to grov peppers?”
Farmer: “You want to glow peppels? Why you want to glow peppels?”
Me: “My brothers told me to!”
Farmer: “You blothels told you to? Why you blothels told you to?”
Me: “It’s a long story!” But can you please tell me hov to grov peppers?”
Farmer: “Why you not buy some peppels flom me?”
Me: “OK. Hov much are dey?”
Farmer: “Tlee dolla a pound fo the gleen oh led ones, tax incruded!”
Me: “Dat’s too expensive! I vill not pay dat much for some silly green or red peppers!”
Farmer: “OK, OK, I’ll tlow in some callots as well! You like callots?”
Me: “Ya I like carrots, and I’ll take de green peppers. But can you please tell me hov to grov peppers?”
Farmer, bagging my purchase and taking my money: “You need gleen thumbs to glow peppels!”
I looked as his hands, but he had rubber gloves on so I couldn’t tell if his thumbs were green or not.
Afterwards, whenever I came across people that had lush green gardens, I always looked to see if their thumbs were green, until it dawned on me that it was just an expression! Duh!
It has taken me almost 50 years, but I do think that I finally got a handle on the spoken English, without too much of an accent. Although I still have to stop for a mini second before talking about Vinnipeg or Wancouwer. My wife also tells me that my Norskie accent shines through when I get upset or excited. Oh well, I call that having character, but others might say, “what a character!”
Ole and Sven were out deer hunting. Ole bagged a buck. After they dressed the deer and tagged it, they grabbed it by its hind legs and started dragging it through the woods back to the car. A game warden happened upon the pair, and after checking their tags and admiring the buck he told them that they were dragging the deer out all wrong.
By dragging it by the rear legs, the snow, leaves and dirt were getting caught by the animal’s fur, and the horns were getting all tangled in the brush. The warden suggested that they drag it by the front legs. They agreed to try it and much to their surprise; it was much easier dragging the deer by the front legs.
After a half hour of this Sven turned to Ole and said, "Boy dat game varden vas right, it sure is easier dragging de deer dis vay, but ya knov, ve are getting furder avay from de car."
