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Learning the many phrases in the English language

Column by Kaare Askildt Formerly known as The Farmer in Training

            There are many phrases in the English language, and as English is my second language, I had to learn what they meant. Here are a few.

             Bob’s your uncle! I heard that the first time shortly after I had arrived in Vancouver. I asked a stranger for directions to Stanley Park. “Go straight down this street,” he said, “and turn right when you get to the bottom of the hill, and Bob’s your uncle – that’s Stanley Park.” “Hmm!” I thought, “I don’t have an uncle named Bob, and if I did, what did he have to do with Stanley Park?” I soon learned that it meant the same as “there you are!”

             If you’ll pardon my French! Was another expression that I encountered while being new to Canada and still living in Vancouver. There weren’t many French speaking people in Vancouver at that time. However, a new found Canadian friend was telling me about his neighbour and said, “he needs a swift kick in the ass, pardon my French!”

            “Huh?” I said, I had learned a little bit of French in high school back in Norway, but I didn’t recognize any French words in what was just said. It finally dawned on me that the phrase is used to excuse a mild swear. Does that mean that all French people swear?

             The lights are on but nobody’s home! I have met people that are a perfect fit for this phrase. Most are bureaucrats, some are office secretaries and others work in the service industry.

             “When pigs fly!” is another oft used expression when talking about something that will never happen, as in when I expressed a desire to live on Mars! I decided to test out this phrase when we were raising pigs. I was sure I could get one of them to fly. Try and picture this in your mind. After having constructed a very sturdy kite, I grabbed one of the weanlings and tied the end of the kite rope around his belly. I chased him down the pasture in an effort to get the kite up in the air, but the pig just dug his snout into the ground as he did not have any sense of urgency, or any desire to fly for that matter, so I gave it up.

             Talking about pigs, there is an expression that says to pig out. I figured that out first time I heard it. My new found Canadian friend invited me to lunch at a local Chinese restaurant. The sign outside said “All you can eat buffet!” We observed a patron who was stacking his plate, sat down and proceeded to eat it all in a hurry and then went back for seconds. “That guy is pigging out!”

             Finger lickin’ good is self-explanatory. When you eat a juicy burger or some finger foods like French fries or break apart crab or lobster claws, and instead of wiping your fingers with a napkin you use your mouth to lick your fingers clean. Yummy!

             To have a cast iron stomach. Another self-explanatory expression. This phrase would apply to somebody eating spicy foods like deadly spicy chicken wings! Uffda!

             To drink like a fish! Is another phrase often used to describe certain thirsty individuals. However, I don’t think fish drink any more than they require, and when they do drink it flows right through them. This phrase is used to describe somebody that abuses alcohol, but it is misplaced because fish are very sober and never drink alcohol!