We try to keep our bird feeder in our back yard full all the time and have hung a nice suet in the fir tree next to the feeder. I can sit in my favourite chair and watch the birds’ activity through the window. I can also see our dog Lady run up and scare the birds while her tail is wagging so hard that it seems it is about to fall off!
It came as a big surprise to Lady that we decided to bring home a budgie from our last trip to Saskatoon. The word “budgie” is a shorter version of the actual name “budgerigar” which in ancient Australian aboriginal language means “good to eat.” The species was first recorded in 1805, and today is the third most popular pet in the world, after the domesticated dog and cat.
My wife picked out a nice blue-and-purple chick that was only about a month old. I took one look at the bird and named him Oscar. Marion got Oscar set up in his nice birdcage and suspended the cage from a hook in the ceiling. He sat on his perch and surveyed the surroundings, and even as hard as my wife would try, Oscar didn’t budgie – eh budge from his perch. Lady sat down and cocked her head, looked at the bird, then at me and finally at Marion, as if to say, “what’s the matter with you guys! Are you nuts? You know I’m a bird dog right?” Whereupon she rose up on her hind legs and attempted to reach the cage. She realizes that she cannot get at Oscar, so she just sat on the floor staring at Oscar trying to find a way to get him.
I decided that I had to let Lady know why we brought home a bird, and told her that Marion had found some pet store advertising budgies for chirp – eh cheap. My wife will tame Oscar and then let him fly around the house, at least that is her intention. I can just imagine the pandemonium that it will create with the bird flying through the house, and the dog chasing after him while running over any human and topple any furniture that is in the way! Oscar hides at the bottom of his cage, and pops his head up once in a while to tease Lady. Is that what is called fowl play?
The pet store gave us a full “satisfaction guaranteed” promise, which included that Oscar will be replaced if he dies of natural causes, and even if he’s mauled by the dog. And if Oscar gets sick, we should bring him back for tweetment – eh treatment. I hope that Oscar will take care of any wayward fly that would get inside our house, which begs the question: “What is the difference between a fly and a bird?” Answer: “A bird can fly but a fly can't bird!” Oh come on! Don’t groan! Do you think I write all this for pun – eh fun?
Well, we got a budgie rather than a parrot, because a parrot is a wordy bird! In the pet store they had a parrot that sat on a perch and said “Meow, oink, bow-wow, and moo,” because he was studying foreign languages. Another parrot was watching a movie on an iPod and when I inquired why the parrot was watching that particular movie, I was told that the parrot had enjoyed the book and wanted to check out the show. Two macaws in the pet store were looking out the window when a jet fighter hurtled by showing the fire in the engine. “Look at that speed!” exclaimed the one parrot. “Hmmph!” said the other, “you would fly fast too if your rear end was on fire!”
Ole and Sven walked into the pet shop, Sven smiled, “Dat’s dem.”
A clerk came over and Sven said: “We’ll take two of dem dere little budgies.”
The clerk put the budgies in a paper bag, Sven paid for the birds, they left the shop and got into Sven’s pick-up, drove to the top of the cliffs by the lake where Sven looked at the drop and said, “Dis looks like a grand place.”
He took the birds out of the bag, put them on his shoulders and jumped off the cliff. Ole watched as Sven fell all the way to the bottom. Looking down at Sven, Ole shook his head and said: “Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me.”
Moments later Knut arrived at the cliffs. He’d been to the pet shop too and walked up to the edge carrying a paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
“Hey, Ole! Watch dis,” Knut said. He took a parrot from the bag and threw himself over the edge of the cliff. Ole watched as half way down, Knut took the gun and shot the parrot. Knut continued to plummet down until he hit the bottom.
Ole shook his head and said, “And I’m never trying dat parrot shooting either.”
Ole was just getting over the shock of watching his two friends when Lars appeared. He’d also been to the pet shop and was carrying a paper bag out of which he pulled a chicken. Lars grasped the chicken by the legs held it over his head and hurled himself off the cliff and fell down to the bottom.
Once more Ole shook his head….”First der was Sven with his budgie jumping, den Knut parrot shooting….and now Lars hen gliding…..”
