Well, 2016 is finally behind us. I’m relieved to have an excuse to wipe my hands of all that garbage. It was hard enough losing so many talented people (including Carrie Fisher and her mother just when I thought it was safe to assume 2016 couldn’t do anymore damage), but the news was endlessly heartbreaking with the struggles in Syria and the hate crimes that increased after Donald Trump was announced as the new president.
The beginning of the year is a time of reflection for many, but doubly so for me, as I celebrated my birthday on January 5. ‘Celebrating’ is a bit of an exaggeration as I spent that evening chatting with friends over text before falling asleep early, but at the time of my writing this, I’ve been told plans are being made for a more official party on the weekend, so I’m remaining hopeful.
It’s hard to say where I am now in comparison to where I was last year, but I can say I have changed drastically. I have moved two and a half hours from my prior year’s apartment. I have a degree (though the university still hasn’t send me a diploma with my name correctly spelled). I have a job, when the me from last year was panicking over mounting student debt and the possibility of sleeping in an alleyway begging for food (speaking of, did you know that most millennials, the generation of which I am apparently a part of, would take food over a romantic relationship?). And I have been working on combating health problems that were leaving me bedridden and frustrated last year.
Not everything is good, of course. Up until last year, I hadn’t really experienced loss and had only attended funerals for distant relatives and family friends. 2016 meant losing my grandmother and my father’s uncle, two people I was close to and admired. It’s still something I’m trying to comprehend, that I will never see these people again. Even if both of them were ill and I’m glad they are no longer suffering, it’s hard to think that I won’t go over to Grandma’s to make cabbage rolls, and I won’t get to hear Uncle Les share stories of camping with my dad.
I am glad though, for the friends I made last year that helped me through so many situations and assured me through so many doubts. My sister asked me to play Dungeons and Dragons with her coworker, his friend and his brother and when I agreed, I thought it would be a once-a-week occasion that was fun, but wouldn’t become any more. Half a year later and our roleplaying games have been postponed, but we’ve all connected so well I don’t mind holding off on the adventures of my half-demon thief in order to have my own adventures with all of them.
At this time of year it’s typical for most to make resolutions, in order to ensure that they become better people in the new year… or, most likely, to become better people for about a week before they fall off the bandwagon. I’m still thinking hard about what I actually want to resolve to, and what I actually believe will change me for the better. I have some specific goals in mind regarding my health that I am going to keep in mind, and I’m not going to let myself slide on those especially. I think I may try to implement a more creative goal as well, so I can allow myself to get back into the habit of writing for fun, and not just as my job. I have a lot of friends who are writing novels, and I think I might try to join them. There’s no point in me worrying about it and thinking too hard about things. It’s worth saying I tried and failed instead of saying I didn’t even bother to go for it.
So I suppose those are my plans for the new year. I don’t know if anyone was particularly interested in knowing what I’m going to be up to, but it’s always best to tell someone so you’re more motivated to go through with things. I know I know people who are already spreading doom and gloom about 2017, but I have a feeling it will be better so long as we stay optimistic. And so long as we keep moving forward towards our dreams.
That’s my goal: to spend 2017 without fear or doubt and to move towards my dreams, no matter how impossible I thought of them at the time. I hope everyone starting this year will be inclined to do the same.
