The generations following mine will not be able to comprehend some of the old adages, as the adages probably won’t relate to anything that they would know. What the heck is he talking about, you wonder. Well, let’s start with money. Firstly, money as we know it will more than likely be history, as most if not all financial transactions will be done electronically.
A penny saved is a penny earned is an adage meaning save your money, or saving money is just like making money. This adage was first used in the 17th century, but became popular about 1899. Pennies, nickels, dimes and even quarters might disappear, so maybe change the adage to say ‘a dollar saved is a dollar earned!’
You can’t judge a book by its cover. This old adage first appeared in 1860 and was used to describe something that might look different than it really is. For example, depending on your opinion, Donald Trump might look and behave ignorant, but could be blessed with a high intellect, or he might act like an intelligent person, whereas in fact he is a buffoon. Another example would be a restaurant that looks old and small but might have excellent gourmet style food. Books and bookstores, however, might be disappearing to be replaced with e-books, which will not have a worn and tattered cover. Perhaps replace this adage with ‘looks can be deceiving.’
Which brings me to another old adage, ‘the pen is mightier than the sword.’ This was first coined in 1839 by the British author Edward Bulwer-Lytton. It means a person’s writing can cause people to change their opinions (for example, cause them to fight a war or withdraw from hostility), whereas a sword can only change a person's opinion by force and then often only results in the person's death. The meaning still applies today, but perhaps substitute the “pen” with “keyboard!” Thus, ‘the keyboard is mightier than the sword.’
And now for some adages that still apply.
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. This saying was originally a line from Alexander Pope’s An Essay on Criticism from 1709. Knowing a little about something might tempt a person to overestimate one’s abilities. I’ll use myself as an example. I knew “a little” about farming, such as milk comes from a cow, T-bone steaks come from a bull, pigs provide pork chops and eggs come from a chicken; but I didn’t know what came first, the chicken or the egg! Then I tried farming, making all my friends and neighbours laugh at my farming antics, and if it hadn’t been for Marion I would probably be dead by now!
‘Above board’ is a phrase that has survived many centuries. The first known use was in 1594! Today it is used to describe something that is quite legal and should be beyond scrutiny.
The phrase, however, was originally coined to keep card players from cheating, as it became very difficult to cheat when the hands were above the table.
‘Accidentally on purpose’ means deliberately feigning an accident. The first recorded use of this phrase was by the author Jose Francisco de Isla in 1772.
An example would be like this story: “He was a brilliant student, but failed the exam in his favourite subject. His parents suspected that he flunked accidentally on purpose, so as not to please his dad. And in turn his billionaire father deleted him accidentally on purpose from his last will and testament. The father, however, found that his son had made an innocent mistake that looked like a deliberate action, and re-instated his son as an heir.”
‘A skeleton in the closet.’ This phrase was coined in the early 1800s. It originated in England, where the word “closet” referred to the “water closet,” which is what we refer to as the toilet. I can just imagine some English dainty butt parked on the ceramic commode wondering what is causing the rumbling sound with the deathly odor, probably thinking that there must be something sinister hidden in the bowl!
‘An ill wind’ is basically used to describe a negative effect. It was first used in England in 1546. That was long before the invention of today’s modern three-piece bathrooms with a strong extraction fan. Back in 1546 they only had outhouses in England, and if the wind turned and blew from the outhouse to the main abode, it would be an ill wind indeed, and all the inhabitants could wind up passing out from that ill wind. Sorry! But I had to play with the “wind” word!
Lena was getting on in years, and she had to go downtown to see her lawyer to get her papers in order. The lawyer’s office was on the fourth floor in a swanky office high-rise. Lena entered the elevator to get to the fourth floor. A young woman got on the elevator smelling of perfume.
She turned to Lena and with a wicked smirk said, “Romance by Ralph Lauren. $150 an ounce!” Another young lady also smelling of perfume followed the first one.
She also smirked wickedly at Lena and said, “Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!”
As Lena was getting off on the fourth floor, she looked at both the young women, bent over and passed an odorous wind saying, “Brussel sprouts, 50 cents a pound!”
Little Ole came home from school smiling from ear to ear.
He said to his parents, “Mom, Dad, guess what? The teacher asked our class a question, and I was the only one who knew the answer!”
Sven said, “That’s amazing son! What was the question?”
Ole smiled and said, “The teacher asked, ‘who farted?’”
