My Norwegian nephews and nieces told me during one of my visits that I speak ancient Norwegian. Well, the Norwegian language has evolved over the close to 50 years I have lived in Canada. The English language has evolved as well.
In my quest to properly learn the English language, I used crossword puzzles to enhance my vocabulary. I came across many “old” words that obviously didn’t survive the evolvement of the English language. I’ll attempt to write a story using some of these words. Feel free to look them up!
Sven was a battologist (a person who repeats himself needlessly) and he was also a bloviate (a person who speaks pompously) like Trump. Ole on the other hand was considered crapulous (a drinker of alcohol) and had polydipsia (excessive thirst). He was also cumberground (taking up space) leaning over the bar to chat with the bartender. Lena the drazel (vagabond wench) was considered to be eccedentesiast (faking smiles) while enticing Ole to buy her drinks. Sometimes Ole would not make it home, and he would stagger and fall asleep in the field by a stream, waking up with woofits (a hangover). He would kneel by the stream and wash his face before yepsen (cupping his hands to drink water), hoping there were no livestock up stream.
Lars was ergophobic (feared work) and was therefore considered to be a faineant (loafer) or heimganger (a person who stays at home). His sister Kari suffered from bromopnea (bad breath) and she also had emacity (a fondness for buying things). She had to impignorate (mortgage) her house to feed her buying habit, but she was always leggiadrous (elegant). Knut her banker was a gradgrind (person only interested in cold hard facts). She found that he was always kyriolexy (speaking literally), but also noticed that when he found himself to be lethologica (unable to remember an exact word), he would become stressed and use lalochezia (foul language) which at times would be ithyphallic (obscene). She suspected that he had fladge (pornographic literature) in his desk drawer, and felt gymnophoria (like she was being mentally undressed) whenever she met with him. Knut was always quaestuary (trying to make money).
At home Lars would be a nelipot (a person who walks without shoes) and could find himself mulligrubs (depressed). Lars was a jollux (rotund person) with a steatopygic (fat behind) and he drove an SUV. He fondly remembered the time when he gassed up at the lubitorium (service station) where he met Kari and felt limerance (the initial exhilarating rush of falling in love). Kari found Lars to be ostrobogulous (interesting), but decided that he was not for her after she heard him peenge (complain in a whiny voice) to the attendant about the cost of gas.
Per was a quidnunc (a person who always wants to know what’s going on), and would quagswag (shake his head back and forth) when somebody would inaniloquent (speak foolishly).
He also had a dignotion (mole) on his chin. Per suffered from cleptobiosis (the act of plundering food), which always caused him to farctate (overeat). His wife Lisa was a windlestraw (tall, thin and unhealthy looking person) and a xanthippe (an ill-tempered woman) who could be furciferous (a brat). At times Per felt himself to be a yisel (hostage), which made him mad and thought that Lisa was widdiful (a person who deserved to hang). Per, however, was not a pronk (foolish person) so he forgave her even though she could also be orgulous (haughty).
In December of every year, Hans would move up into the mountains to his hibernacle (cabin). Sometimes he would invite Truls, whom he thought to be a hoddypeak (fool). Truls would bring with him a chicken which they would roast then sit in front of the fireplace and knabble (nibble) on drumsticks. Hans would set up the card table and invite the neighbours to a game of poker. After the cards were jiffled (shuffled) and dealt, they would all partake in inaniloquent (idle talk), and Hans would jargogle (mix things up) a little, in an effort to honeyfugle (cheat) and win the pot. Truls the hoddypeak (blockhead), however, would usually expose Hans’ phenakism (cheating) to the other players and they would all kench (laugh really loudly). Hans was mumpsimus (stuck wrongly to his old ways) and he was also nihilarian (dealing with things lacking importance).
Leif was a noceur (person who stays up late) and would obambulate (wander about) while onychophagy (biting his fingernails) and trying to remember what happened nudiustertian (the day before yesterday). He had a vague idea that he might have been somewhat ostrobogulous (slightly risqué or indecent) involving his desire to pogonotrophy (grow a beard).
Thor was a snollygoster (a dishonest politician) and also a rastaquouere (a social climber who tries too hard to be in fashion). Whenever he addressed the public he would come off as an ultracrepidarian (one who offers opinions) and a phylarologist (a person who talks nonsense) and sometimes as a philosophunculist (one who pretends to know more than he or she does to impress others). He also had a wandering eye and was considered to be a sybarite (one devoted to a life of luxury and sensual pleasure). He had admonished his dog Snert to be quiet when he let him out in the yard after dark, so Snert would only youf (let out muffled barks).
And now a true story: A young man entered a bookstore wearing a hoodie as he was embarrassed because of the book he sought. He asked the cute blonde female clerk if he she had a copy of the sensual book Without a Thread.
“No, I’m so sorry,” said the clerk, “but we do have a copy of Fun with Yarn!”
