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Robin Hood is ridiculous, but that's okay

Robin Hood (DVD/Blu-Ray) - Dir. Ridley Scott. Starring Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, William Hurt.
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Robin Hood (DVD/Blu-Ray) - Dir. Ridley Scott. Starring Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, William Hurt.In this latest adaptation of the classic folk tale, filmmakers figure out that anything can serve as a Robin Hood origin story so long as it ends with some guy living in the forest with a bow.

Russell Crowe plays himself, as usual, in the lead role. I think he may have smiled at one point, but I could be imagining things.

To justify yet another take on the legend, the producers found it necessary to up the ante over all previous versions, and apparently it wasn't enough just casting an actor who could do the accent. So we get a Maid Marian who straps on armor and runs into battle for some unclear reason. We get a Robin Hood who is William Wallace and John Locke rolled into one. He rides a horse, wields a sword, and bashes heads just as well as he handles a bow; and when someone calls for a warlord or a philosopher, he does those jobs too. He literally helps draft the Magna Carta on his way to fend off a French invasion. I am not joking right now.

The Robin Hood mythology is so diverse and so far removed from historical fact by now that it would be ridiculous to criticize any adaptation for not sticking to it. But someone has to draw the line before we end up with Robin Hood robbing from the rich and defending the poor against robots from the future.

With all that in mind, I have to wonder if the score I'm about to give this film is too high. But it wouldn't be right to undersell what is most important about Robin Hood, which is that it is well-made, well-paced, and perfectly entertaining. Plenty of epic films have been great despite their disregard for realism or accuracy. Braveheart has hardly an ounce of historical truth behind it, and everyone knows that hobbits went extinct in the 1960s.

Unrated for depictions of non-consenting people on fire.4 out of 5

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (DVD/Blu-Ray) -- Dir. Mike Newell. Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arteron, Ben Kingsley.

Makes a good run at the low-hanging fruit of "best video game film adaptation ever" but falls short of Disney's hopes for a successor to the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.

PoP sticks unusually close to the basic plot of its source material. You've got a prince (of Persia), a princess, a magic dagger that rewinds time, and something about the Sands of Time in there, too. Let me refer you back to the title of the movie. It hits all the major plot points of the game while wisely expanding the setting's scope and omitting all of that sand zombie business.

It may not be a thinking man's film, but as a big budget action/adventure it is unexpectedly good. It's packed with the usual wacky cast of characters, lots of parkour stunts, and a genuinely interesting plot gimmick in the form of the time-reversal power. (Even if it's not used very much. I guess in a movie you can't show the prince redoing that stupid jump on that stupid mountain twelve times before the final boss).That's the first half, at least. Somewhere around the Persian ninja training montage, the movie starts to cross the line between big-budget-Disney-fun cheesy and regular Velveeta cheesy. Director Mike Newell (best known for that one really bad Harry Potter movie) insists on overlaying hastily-edited flashback sequences on top of every line of dialogue that references past events. He also overuses trendy ramping effects between slow motion and regular motion during action scenes, or sometimes just for the hell of it. Despite beautiful sets and costume design, PoP sometimes manages to look cheap. Mumbo-jumbo text about "Destiny" slapped onto the intro and outro doesn't help.

The plot comes with its share of little annoyances, too. The prince, for example, somehow figures out the villain's entire plot on the basis of apparently no evidence whatsoever. And all pretense of character consistency and common sense is abandoned in the ending sequence.

Jake Gyllenhaal, the scrawny kid from October Sky, is not the most obvious choice for the lead--especially since he's about as Persian as the rug I keep my shoes on. He gets the job done, however.

Bonus: Ben Kingsley no longer has to say BloodRayne is his best video game movie.

Rated PG-13 for easily reversed murdering.3.5 out of 5