I can never quite get used to some of the things people are proud of.
Perhaps I get too wrapped up in semantics for my own good, but when someone says, just for example, “I am proud of my Irish heritage,” I wonder why someone would be proud of something like that over which they have no control.
That has always been he line of distinction for me. I do not feel pride at being white or male or heterosexual or Canadian because those are not choices I made nor accomplishments I achieved. I feel lucky and grateful to be those things because of the bountiful privilege they bestow upon me in this part of the world, but I can’t say they instill me with pride.
Psychologists consider pride a secondary emotion. According to current research there are four primary emotions (some say five). These are basic, unthinking responses to stimuli: fear, anger, sadness and joy. Secondary emotions are derivative of these, the second thing you feel.
For example, when someone gives you joy, you then feel love (or maybe loneliness depending on more complex emotional entanglements).
I personally have a theory there is only one basic emotion, fear. Anger (fight response) derives from fear. Joy (happy response) derives from absence of fear. Love results in the safety of numbers and therefore alleviates fear. I could go on and on, but my subject here is pride.
And it is actually more of a notion than a theory because I have not fully developed the concept nor undertaken the necessary rigorous scientific study to establish evidence to support it as a theory.
In any event, whether you subscribe to the one primary, four primary or earlier versions that postulated six or eight primary emotions, it is easy to see pride as secondary.
I am proud of my Best News Story award from the Saskatchewan Weekly Newspapers Association because I worked hard for it and the accomplishment brought me joy.
I am not proud that the Ottawa Senators have moved on to the next round of the NHL playoffs because although I am a fan, I had nothing to do with getting them there. But many people are, aside from the players, coaches, management etc. who have a right to be. That confuses me. And when I get confused I like to go back to square one, the dictionary.
In fact, being proud of the Sens would fit the definition which states pride is: “a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.”
Emotions, of course, are unbidden responses. What labels we attach to those responses, however, are intellectual and it appears my working definition of pride may be a little narrow.
Whereas some would say they are proud of the Sens, I would say I am delighted, excited, confident, satisfied, hopeful or appreciative, which are, in fact, all derivatives of joy, as is pride, so perhaps I need a little semantic adjustment.
There are other elements to pride, too. It often seems to be associated with oppressed peoples. Native pride and gay pride are good examples.
Getting back to the privilege of being born white and male and heterosexual in a white- and male- and heterosexual-dominated society, it is easy not succumb to pride when you’ve never been given any reason to feel shame.
Being proud of your native culture, on the other hand, seems a pretty legitimate self-preserving response to institutionalized discrimination and shaming.
And I can easily see how gay pride might relate to a sense of accomplishment, coming out being an act of bravery and staying true to oneself in the face of ostracization being a significant achievement.
There is also the dichotomy of pride, though. It has antithetical meanings that can also evoke deeply dark connotations.
One need only look to the current occupant of the presidency of the United States to fully appreciate why pride has traditionally been considered one of the seven deadly sins.
Unchecked, excessive pride, or hubris, is as dangerous an emotion as exists in the world.
It is said, “moderation in all things is best.” I think this is particularly true of pride for which the pitfalls outweigh the utility.
Check your ego at the door.
