It seems that every year when Christmas rolls around, people throw the rules out the door and nothing is off-limits. Want that delicious, sinful-looking chocolate truffle? Sure, go ahead. It’s Christmas so you deserve a treat. Got your eye on that super expensive home theatre system? Buy it. It’s the one time in the year when you’re supposed to treat yourself. You can make up the money later. The growing problem with this mentality that the media seems to be reinforcing is this idea that there’s no such thing as “too much” at Christmas when there actually should be. A lot of times, surviving the holidays means figuring out what your limits are and sticking to them.
There’s a common running joke that most have to prepare their wallets for Christmas season. Nobody wants to spend a fortune on buying gifts for others, and yet somehow that’s what ends up happening. You start out only intending to buy gifts for your immediate family, but then that one coworker goes and buys you something. Now you feel obligated to get something for him in the last three days of work before you go on holidays. Then your mother-in-law mentions how excited she is to give you a gift and you realize you’ll have to get something for her as well. Just as you pick up something for your coworker, you then realize you’re now obligated to buy something for the rest of your coworkers and your boss to keep things fair. Suddenly, you’ve spent more than $100 without meaning to.
The problem here is that we all have been living under the weight of obligation and expectation. We’re expected to put thought into a gift and if we can’t do that, at least make it expensive enough that the receiver will be satisfied. Even beyond material things, that sort of mentality can extend to other areas such as food and parties. If it’s your turn to host Christmas dinner, you have to have either a variety of food, or a smaller selection of such awesome food that nobody can complain. It would be ludicrous to host a dinner that didn’t have some sort of main entrée such as a stuffed turkey, glazed ham, or roasted duck.
The decorations have to be just right and there should be enough of them that you can tell it’s Christmas. My own mother morphs into this other person when December hits. Gone is the sweet nurturing woman I knew and in her place is a demanding tyrant who believes that the number of decorations we’re willing to help put up is the equivalent of how much we love her. If you don’t want Christmas decorations, you obviously don’t love her.
The solution to all of this craziness and all of these demands and expectations is easy: keep things simple. Before Christmas hits, make a plan for everything. Who are you going to buy gifts for? Make a list. Plan for unexpected people to pop up (by the way, don’t believe for a second those coworkers that go around giving out surprise gifts don’t know what they’re doing. They know they’re obligating you) by getting small generic gifts ready on standby. A box of chocolates may seem cliché, but who in their right minds gets tired of chocolate?
Next, make a budget. Assign a budget of what you’re willing to spend on everyone, including yourself. That includes calories. Just because it’s Christmas and you should treat yourself doesn’t mean you’re allowed to inhale four pounds of shortbread cookies. It’s all about knowing your limits. If you couldn’t afford that home theatre system before December, there’s a good chance you still can’t. Put it on your wish list and pray that Santa is real and that you’ve been good.
There is a way to survive the holidays, but it starts with us. Be reasonable with yourself and stop throwing caution out the window. Generosity is always a good thing, but if we want to survive the madness that is Christmas, we need to know how to balance generosity with our own limitations.
