My hands were shaking.
After being down by 12 during the fourth quarter, the Toronto Raptors had cut the Brooklyn Nets' lead down to one with under 10 seconds left to play in game seven of their Eastern Conference quarter-final series of the NBA playoffs Sunday afternoon. With 8.8 seconds left in the game, Raptors guard stole an inbounds pass from Shaun Livingston to give Toronto one more opportunity to advance to the second round.
I jumped off of my couch - not as high as Ross did to steal the ball - and ran a lap of my apartment in a state of pure bliss. Keeping history in mind, I shouldn't have been surprised at what happened next.
Raptors point guard Kyle Lowry took the inbounds pass and worked to the centre of the court with 6.8 seconds left in the series, cutting into the lane. Two Nets players stripped the ball as he dove the lane, but Lowry gathered the ball. Two seconds. Lowry pulls up and floats a shot towards the basket, but Nets veteran Paul Pierce swatted the shot away to send the Nets to South Beach to take on the Miami Heat in the second round.
Lowry collapsed on the court, hands covering his face as teammate DeMar DeRozan came over to attempt to lift his spirits.
I was paralyzed with emotion on my couch. It took a while for me to realize what had just happened. They came so close to completing the comeback only to have it snatched away at the very end. As I stared blankly at my television, my phone lit up with text messages with words not suitable to be printed. My hands kept shaking as I tried to reply to those messages.
By now, I should be used to the feeling. It seems to happen every time in these situations. My teams, more often than not, find a way to lose in crunch time.
There are times I remember hearing about when I was younger, but did not actually get to experience them live. When Wayne Gretzky hit Maple Leafs captain Doug Gilmour with a high stick in overtime of game six of the 1993 Western Conference final and no penalty was called, I was asleep and too young to realize the full impact of what happened in the morning.
It was a similar situation with Vince Carter's missed shot during the 2001 NBA playoffs. When I saw the ball bounce off the rim during highlights the next morning, I accepted defeat, thinking the team would bounce back next year.
The ones that hurt the most are the ones experienced live. During a 2000 AFC Wild Card playoff game, the Buffalo Bills were up 16-15 on the Tennessee Titans following a Steve Christie field goal with 16 seconds to play. All Buffalo had to do was kick it deep and make a special teams play.
What followed has become known as the "Music City Miracle." Titans tight end Frank Wycheck threw a lateral across the field to wide receiver Kevin Dyson, who took the football the length of the field to score. In an instant, the Titans were up 22-16 and heading to the divisional round of the AFC playoffs. I remember running into my bedroom and burying my head into a pillow, pretending like this didn't just happen. The Bills haven't been to the playoffs since that game and haven't won a playoff game since 1995.
Fast forward to Grade 10. After finishing my history work with time left in class, my teacher let me head to the library to watch the gold medal game between Canada and United States at the 2004 World Junior Hockey. Late in the third period, after a Canadian scoring chance, the Americans cleared the puck. Marc-Andre Fleury left his crease to clear the puck up the centre of the ice, but it bounced off Canadian defenceman Braydon Coburn and into the back of his own net to give the United States a 4-3 lead. This one hurt because I was so accustomed to Team Canada winning gold at this event.
It wouldn't be the worst pain Team Canada has given me. At the 2010 World Junior Hockey Championship in Saskatoon, the Canadians came back to tie the gold medal game at five, sending it to overtime. Again, the emotions of the comeback were too strong. Watching the game with my friends at a local restaurant made for an exuberant atmosphere. It wouldn't last long. American defenceman John Carlson scored on a three-on-one to win the gold medal. I remember walking out after the game and slamming my ice scraper into the pavement of the parking lot.
The next World Juniors might have been worse. Canada was cruising, leading Russia 3-0 in the gold medal game. The university bar was festive as Canada looked to be making up for last year's silver medal. Then, the balloon popped. The Russians scored five unanswered goals to steal the gold away from Canada. I was shocked. The bar was eerily silent. I couldn't shake the gut-wrenching feeling. In my mind, I remember thinking I couldn't figure out which year's event felt worse.
Finally, there was last year. This one still stings, especially after the Leafs missed the playoffs this season. It has given me more time to dwell on what could have been. With Toronto leading 4-1 in the third, the Boston Bruins staged a furious third period comeback to send the game into overtime. It was inevitable Boston would find the back of the net in extra time. Patrice Bergeron made that a reality six minutes into overtime.
I couldn't sit still. I paced around my basement back in Hamilton. Eventually, I took to slamming a pillow against a wall. The pain didn't go away. Watching television the next couple of days was almost impossible. There were no shortage of reminders everywhere I looked, especially since Boston made it to the Stanley Cup final. Even Boston suffering a late collapse in game six of the final did not make it better.
It brought back the question of which way to lose was worse: collapsing or staging a furious comeback only to fall short?
After careful consideration, they both suck.
