I know people get busy. I know there are underlying frustrations, worries and an entire back story going on within each person I come into contact with. But what truly gives a person the right to speak to another in a demeaning manner?
I know I have jumped on my children when they have asked a simple question. When they were young, I probably went on with my day and never thought twice about it. As they grew older, they responded in kind.
During their teen years, this response may have led to an argument that started with someone belittling the other's value by talking to them in such a tone.
Other responses have been the "cone of silence.” Each of us has retreated within ourselves when words have been hurled that cut below the surface.
As my children grew into adults, this particular scenario started playing out differently. They would call me on it when I said something hurtful or inappropriate. We have stopped in our tracks and retracted, reworded or explained where the emotion was coming from.
Looking back, I physically shudder when I think of the injuries my tone of voice, body language and words have caused over the years. I have learned to think more before I speak. No matter who I'm talking to, I make every attempt to consciously weigh what I am saying and how it will feel to be on the receiving end of those words.
It's been a work in progress, but the response one gets from speaking to another person with respect nears the 98 per cent effective rate.
I rarely raise my voice any more. In fact, I have scared myself when the volume of my voice rises. What scares me more than anything, is during the height of my most frustrating moments of life, this decibel level was not out of the ordinary.
I do not allow myself to get drawn into an argument. I don't agree with everything I hear. I may have my way of thinking and someone else has hers. But it is not a requirement that I see eye to eye on every level with every person. I listen. I stand my ground. But I feel it is a waste of my energy to argue.
"How to treat people" is probably the most valuable lesson I have learned in my life. I have learned through example — from my parents, the rest of my family, friends and strangers. I have learned how I do and don't like to be treated as a customer, employee, child, friend, parent and the list goes on. I have learned how to treat people when you run your own business. My children have taught me a lot. Yes, I know I was a slow learner. Sorry!
I've learned and I'm still learning.
So when someone barks at me without consideration or thought for who I am and what I am trying to communicate, it bothers me. It takes the wind out of my sails and I become less of who I am. No one has that right.
Thought for the day: "How many times have I done this to others?"
Goal for a lifetime: "Treat others with the respect they deserve." More often than not, people respond in kind.
Every now and again, you run into someone having a bad day. Forgive them. Tomorrow, it could be you.
