The term “catfishing” has entered the lexicon now due to the prevalence of a very strange phenomenon: when someone is on contact with a person online, and they later find out that person is not who they thought they were. Sometimes it’s a person trying to scam money, sometimes they just do it for fun.
These stories can go in many different ways. Creepily, there is no shortage of stories out there.
Sarah Hepola writes for Salon about the boyfriend she gradually discovered was not real. The first bit of suspicion came when she realized it was weird that the accomplishments he told her about were not reflected in his dating profile, such as playing soccer in Germany.
“I believed him. Over the next two weeks, as the bizarre story of Todd unfolded, this was the humbling phrase I would be forced to repeat. Yes, I believed him,” she writes in her article.
The romance started auspiciously – their first phone call, which she expected to last 20 minutes, lasted three hours and she was so wired from it that she couldn’t fall asleep.
There were red flags near the beginning – he didn’t have Facebook and she couldn’t find any mention of his company online. She talks about her friends making fun of her for not cluing in – such as when he said he sold an idea for a reality show called “Topless Chef.”
When she started to suspect he wasn’t real, her journalistic sense was piqued and she started investigating him. Predictably, she couldn’t find mention of him online.
Hepola and “Todd” never met – they communicated via computer and phone. After he cancelled their date for the second time, she confronted him over the phone and then they drifted apart after that.
That’s probably the best outcome for a case of catfishing – neither party was really adversely affected.
A few years ago, a man named Brian Hile got caught up in a catfishing scheme. He was in an Internet relationship for two years with a woman that he learned was a man from South Africa. When he found out he grew angry and took revenge not on the man (who was too far away), but on the woman whose photos had been stolen for the deception. Hile knew the woman didn’t actively have anything to do with the catfishing, but in his mind she was still somewhat responsible. He hacked her information and decided to drive from Michigan to San Diego. Luckily his family sensed he was planning something and he was caught by the police. He had in his possession duct tape, zip ties, and a to-do list indicating he still had to get a knife and chloroform.
Debbie Best met Jon Scofield on a Christian dating site and she quickly fell for him. Several months into their relationship, he said he was traveling to the UK to buy some antiques and ship them back. Eventually, he asked her for $5,000 to ship them. When she said she didn’t have the money, he kept harassing her until she sent him about $200. She then found an identical scam online and confronted him about it. He said that someone was impersonating him. Best said she was lucky she found out when she did, or the financial penalty could have been worse.
Ellie Flynn wrote an article for Vice about how it feels to have her picture used by catfishers for almost a decade. Her photos are used in over 60 fake profiles on social media and dating sites. Her friends also have fake profiles. They’ve been confronted by guys who don’t believe they’re not the people they’ve been conversing with online. The fake Chia has even tweeted, “Why are you impersonating me?” at the real Chia.
Flynn eventually got in touch with the person making the profiles. “Charlotte” seems contrite but still won’t stop with the fake profiles. In addition, the photo stealing isn’t illegal, meaning Flynn doesn’t really have any legal recourse and can’t get Facebook’s help.
So how do you avoid being catfished? Don’t put personal information online, and be alert about your close online friendships: does the person balk at meeting up? Do they ask for money? Is there little information about them online? Then proceed with caution.
