A woman feeling beautiful becomes a woman with high self-esteem. A woman with high self-esteem leads to a woman with confidence. A woman with confidence can do anything.
But a woman has to feel good about herself first, and, for a lot of woman, that comes from feeling beautiful.
As a reporter, I wanted to bring Free Spirit Market’s boudoir photoshoot to the Journal for the same reason Stacey Stroeder, Amy Smith, and Vicki Washburn wanted to bring the photo shoot to Humboldt; helping women feel beautiful.
Nothing I heard from these women is new; the main reason they heard women not wanting to do the shoot was because they wanted to lose weight or look beautiful before they did it.
Working with women on a regular basis, both Smith and Washburn see the high standards women put on themselves to look like movie stars and magazine models, Smith as a photographer and Washburn as a hair stylist.
People can say they do not “look” beautiful by some made up standard set by media, Hollywood, or society.
As women, we are quick to point out our own flaws rather than how beautiful we really are.
Society is quick to take advantage of that with advertisers also quick to point out our flaws and how to “fix” them in order to make a buck.
How much make up would they sell if their message was, ‘you’re beautiful just the way you are’?
The fact that society has a monetary need for women not to feel beautiful makes it daunting for those trying to help women feel beautiful.
Not feeling beautiful, especially for young women, is a problem. According to a report completed by the Dove Self Esteem Fund in 2008, “75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities such as disordered eating, cutting, bullying, smoking, or drinking when feeling badly about themselves.”
My question becomes when did a few extra pounds make us not beautiful.
When did having blemishes on our faces make us not beautiful.
When did imperfections suddenly make us not beautiful.
There is such a high standard on beauty in society and this is making a difference in how all women see themselves. The fact that the focus is solely on how we look is also become a major problem.
In a survey done in 2011 by YWCA Canada, young girls see the unhealthy beauty standards placed on women by the media and how this level of beauty has been the only thing society sees in women.
The survey said that “87% of Canadians think that media advertising puts too much emphasis on young women being sexy and not enough on their abilities and intelligence.”
But if society is against us, how do we help girls and women feel beautiful?
By opening up these opportunities to all women so they can feel beautiful.
Carrie Fisher got blasted on social media for how she aged when she revised her role as Princess Leia in the new Star Wars.
Being the strong woman that she is, she blasted back saying that people are basically saying to “get younger”, she said in an interview with Good Housekeeping.
“We treat beauty like an accomplishment, and that is insane. Everyone in L.A. says, ‘Oh, you look good,’ and you listen for them to say you’ve lost weight. It’s never ‘How are you?’ or ‘You seem happy!’”
Smith said herself that women get a real confidence boost from doing a shoot like boudoir, no matter what weight they are because it makes them feel beautiful.
It’s not a matter of changing the way women look to accomplish this insane standard we have, it is about helping them feel beautiful on their own.
There are plenty of reasons why this is, including the fact that getting pampered for the day can make you feel more relaxed which helps women feel more comfortable with the idea of boudoir. Stepping out of your comfort zone is very freeing for some women as well.
Smith said in the article that for every one person she gets to sign up for a boudoir shoot, she gets 3-4 women saying they will do the shoot next time. None of them ever do, says Smith, since she gets the same response the next time from the same women.
To these women, I say, do not wait for the next time. You are beautiful now.
