In this edition of the Journal, our reporter Melanie Jacob covers something that has been affecting youths, high schools and pre-teens since the dawn of the Internet, and that's cyberbullying.
But the Internet predates something else that seems so convenient, and yet has single-handedly ruined (hopefully only temporarily) the reputation and self-esteem of so many individuals, mostly girls, whether celebrities or people we know, who had their intimate private life turned inside out, available for every gawker to see.
That's camera phones.
They were first introduced in 2000 and really took off in the mid-2000s. They used to be a mini-luxury to accompany the numerous gizmos and gadgets on a cell phone, and are now a basic function of any phone.
I mean, what's a phone if it doesn't have a camera, right?
But bring a camera phone and a naïve, sexually curious teenager, hormones racing, into the mix and well, yes, it's a recipe for disaster and has earned the term "sexting" into the 21st century lexicon of words.
In the past, I've talked to high school students about it, in passing, while making small chat and the scariest part about it is that they talk about it in a matter-of-fact way, as though seeing photos of a teenage girl's breasts, or posing nude provocatively, is almostnormal.
"I see photos like that all the time," one male teen told me. "They just get sent to us."
"How?" I asked.
"Text message usually," he said. "It'll just pop up and in no time, everyone has seen it."
Everyone has seen it.
The problem of the digital age is that people now have to consciously go to extraordinary lengths to keep their private life private.
Twenty years ago if you took an intimate photo of yourself, let's say for your husband, it was unlikely many people would get to see it, other than the nosey photo lab technician or your friend who was perusing through your nightstand drawer for a pen and accidentally came across the polaroid.
Sure, it could happen but was one of those isolated, rare incidents of "Ah, I can't believe I saw this!" as opposed to something so common that people, youths especially, aren't that shocked by its occurrence.
The only way to stop it, really, is to start from an early age and make sure our youths know that sending sexually intimate photos of yourself, whether by e-mail or texting, is not ok and can come back to seriously haunt them.
When I was in high school in the early 2000s, there was a girl who made the quick, impulsive, yet ill-informed decision to flash her bare chest to a group of angsty male teens on webcam.
She wasn't a bad girl. She was 16 years old and wanted to feel pretty; wanted to feel like she was desired by the cute boys she went to school with. We've all had that.
Well, they print-screened the shot and like wild fire, within minutes, the photo of her made its way onto every computer in our high school, it seemed.
People saw the photo and everyone had a comment about it and since we're talking about a bunch of high schoolers here, the comments were bitingly negative, lampooning her as disgusting names I'd never repeat, especially in print.
She was devastated, from what I recall. Missed a few days of school and when she did eventually reappear, she was withdrawn, sullen and, clearly, emotionally wrecked.
Eventually, things blew over and people moved on to other stuff, but this happened over a decade ago and when I hear her name, the first thing I still think of is that incident and that photo. It's awful, because although she was never a great friend of mine, from what I gleaned, she's an authentically nice woman of great character, married now, who made one silly mistake and likely wishes it could just be permanently erased from the records. She's the furthest thing from that stupid photo.
And yet if I ever bump into her or think of her, it's what comes to my mind, despite her well-lived life since that incident that should theoretically prevent this quick flash of an image in my head.
It's not just her, either. We ALL make mistakes and do or say things we wish we could instantly, with a quick flick of the wrist, take back.
But when it comes to decisions of a sexual nature, technology has really changed the game here. You put your reputation, your private life, your vulnerability and self-esteem on the line the second you click "send" because, even if you think you know, you haven't the faintest idea where that photo will end up, or what stranger will be looking at it.
My point is this, so teens especially, listen up:
A person will love you for you and no amount of intimate photographs or videos can sum up how wonderful, intelligent, brilliant and capable you are as a human being. Let people, whether significant others or friends, love you as a whole, not as a screen shot.
People should desire you for your mind, your personality, your humour, your traits, your quirks, your likes and dislikes, your interests and hobbies, your talents and failures, your wisdom and your character. Never underestimate your brilliance as a human being and most importantly, don't tarnish it with a cheap photo of yourself that doesn't even begin to represent the true nature of what a good person you are.
Just don't do it. Don't hit send. It will never be worth it.
CM
