Ed, my neighbour next door, does not take criticism well. Like most of us he is much better at giving blame than receiving it. My neighbour has been bowling with a friend for years, but recently their friendship ruptured like a loud sounding gutter ball. When Ed was telling me about it, I asked if it happened around the Ides of March. Things have been known to go wrong on the 15th of March. I was referring to Julius Caesar being stabbed to death in a meeting of the senate on March 15, 44 BC. It was such a great act of betrayal led by his trusted friends Brutus and Cassius, that even to this day people say, “beware the Ides of March.” March 15 is seen as a reminder that even your most trusted friends may betray you and your most permanent relationships may shatter to pieces without warning.
My referral to the stabbing of Julius Caesar resulted in Ed getting angry at me. He said, “Who cares what happened in 44 BC? Caesar probably deserved a knife in the back. I’m the victim, and my friend was the problem.” Ed ended by saying that it wasn’t worth the effort of complaining to me. All he wanted me to do was confirm that his friend was out of line. I disappointed Ed as usual, but it didn’t matter much to him. Since a trusted friend had stabbed him with words, he had to decide if he would forgive his friend or forget him.
Getting along with family, friends, work associates and neighbours has it highs and lows. When relationships shatter is there enough glue to put them back together again? Hurt, disappointment, resentment, anger and revenge are powerful feelings and motivations within us. In human relationships, the need to be right, to dominate, to control, to hate and to murder are big winners. Many will admit it is easier to see what is wrong with others rather than what is right with them. Betrayal stabs its way through family members, friends, work associates and neighbours. It isn’t totally absent from Christian congregations.
Even the disciples of Jesus were not above resentments among themselves. In the gospel of Mark, James and John the sons of Zebedee came to Jesus and wanted Jesus to do whatever they asked him. They wanted one of them to sit on his right and one on his left when Jesus came into his glory. They wanted special recognition as the two apostles closest to Jesus. Power, position and special recognition motivate people to betray their friends. People want more recognition than others, even their family members, friends, fellow workers and neighbours. Wanting more honour than others also happens in Christian fellowships.
Jesus told James and John that God the Father, not himself, will give the seating order in glory. Jesus also pointed out that God’s way is not about being greater than others, but being a servant. Jesus taught greatness before God is serving others not ruling over them. Jesus served God and sinners and gave his life as a ransom for many when he was here on Earth.
