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Picking the perfect travel destination a hazard in itself

During the last week or so, I have wasted considerable hours of company time scouring the Internet looking at possible deals for winter vacation getaways. Not that I'm about to actually take one of these deals.
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During the last week or so, I have wasted considerable hours of company time scouring the Internet looking at possible deals for winter vacation getaways.

Not that I'm about to actually take one of these deals. Basically, I looked at them because I was envious of all the other people in the community, including several colleagues at the paper, who have either booked flights or already jetted off to sunny vacation destinations far south of here.

Hearing all the talk of folks going to tropical Spanish-speaking locales, where they can enjoy the sunshine and drink Coronas, makes me jealous - especially since I am famous around here for my hatred of winter and the ice and snow.

The problem is that I am on a budget (read: broke), and that limits where I can go. Even places like New York or Chicago are on the pricey side.

I've been looking at travel sites and checking out prices to see if there are any deals to fit my budget, though I've mainly been checking the temperatures - 30 C in these places!

The popular place for a lot of people seems to be Mexico. I've looked into Cancun and some other Mexican places, and there are all kinds of good deals on for under a thousand bucks.

On the surface, Mexico is enticing. Among other things, I've been fascinated by the place ever since I was a kid watching Speedy Gonzales cartoons on Saturday mornings.

Here's the worry. The place is getting a really bad reputation among Canadians. I've heard one story after another about Canadians going down to Mexico and getting caught up in the drug wars down there, landing in the hospital or worse, getting killed.

There has been a constant stream of stories lately about Canadians who have gone to some "five-star" Mexican resort, only to have bad things happen. You've heard the awful story about that woman from Calgary who was beaten up at a five-star resort in Mazatlan. This didn't happen out in the streets, either - this was in the hotel elevators!

I'm definitely not going to Mazatlan.

Granted, the Mayan Riviera area is supposed to be better, and safer, but I wonder about the service at some of these hotels. Just last week there was a story that made the rounds about a Saskatchewan woman who went to a supposed "five-star" hotel on the Mayan Riviera for a wedding, and she apparently got harassed and chased around by one of the help. Of course, when her party complained about him to management, they got the run-around and were even kicked off the resort.

So much for the notion that the "customer is always right." Some places in Mexico seem too willing to treat tourists like a bottomless pit of money.

I know you shouldn't write off a whole country over a few incidents, and lots of people say these stories are blown out of proportion. But just the thought of going to Mexico is enough to freak out my parents, who are convinced it is a good place to get your throat cut.

Besides, my colleague Jayne Foster thinks I would hate Mexico, anyway. She tells me I would be bored out of my skull doing nothing on a beach.

Where else is there? I'm looking around at vacation deals and noticed really cheap ones to Cuba for under a thousand bucks.

Apparently Cuba is considered a "value destination" - because it appeals to cheapskates from Canada who want their sunshine to cost as little as possible.

The place seems about as foreign as it can get while still being accessible to cheapskates like myself. It's a place where people still drive used Chevys from the 1950s, not to mention Ladas and other exotic cars.

As a bonus, Ernest Hemingway liked the place. Plus, you hardly ever hear of people getting their throats cut in Cuba.

Cheap or not, this is still a good chunk of my hard-earned money I would be investing on a trip. I worry I'll be even more bored than if I went to Mexico. Seriously, this place is run by Communists. How exciting would it really be?

If I go to Cuba, I can expect no Western amenities like McDonalds or Starbucks. Then again, I know that's a prime reason why people go there, because they know they can travel around without having the landscape ruined by a McDonalds or a Starbucks!

I've been on enough trips to foreign lands to know that a lack of Western amenities will probably drive me nuts, sunshine or not. That kind of defeats the whole purpose of a winter getaway, which is to end up less nuts than when you started.

Beyond that, I read a story about a bunch of Canadians who came home sick from some gastrointestinal ailment on a trip to Cuba last month. Just the thought of getting Montezuma's Revenge puts me off not only Cuba but other Caribbean places including the Dominican Republic and Jamaica.

Oh, forget it! To heck with land. A cruise ship sounds just fine instead.

Really?

Before you go, make sure your ship is not steered by 'Captain Coward,' the infamous individual who bailed on the Costa Concordia as it sank off the Italian coast.

As tempted as I am by a winter getaway, these stories about bad service, violence, and cruise ships sinking to the bottom of the sea are really weighing on my mind this season.

More and more, it seems likely the only exotic destination I'm going to see any time soon is sunny Cochin on Jackfish Lake. Seriously, I don't need the hassle.