Ed, my old neighbour from Saskatchewan, was in a glum mood when he called yesterday. A good portion of his farming equipment is getting older resulting in increasing cost and frustration. Even though Ed keeps working harder to make sure his machinery is maintained in good working order, breakdowns keep coming.
I told Ed his old equipment was a blessing as well as a problem. It may break down more, but the longer he can keep it working, he is escaping the expense of new machinery. I asked Ed if he would feel less glum with all new machinery. He said that spending money for new machinery would leave him feeling downright gloomy. I asked Ed if he realized his equipment was saving him money, that is, the significant expense of new equipment. He changed the subject of our conversation.
Instead, Ed shared his resentment about a family member. Ed and his cousin Omar were not speaking. Ed went out of his way to make sure Omar knew about a family celebration. Instead of Ed being thanked for letting his cousin know of the occasion, Ed was told that Omar didn’t want to know about the family celebration and that Ed should mind his own business. So Ed stopped talking to his cousin and hung up the phone without another word. I could understand why Ed felt his effort to do right by his cousin should not have resulted in his cousin being offended. Sometimes when we seek to do right by others they react in anger rather than gratitude.
It doesn’t take much to get people offended at each other. Disagreements can blow up like a sudden thunderstorm without much warning. Often bitter strife and antagonism develop from a small root. In Ed’s case, a simple conversation turned sour over the notification of a family occasion. We notice when people offend us by their words or actions. We may not be nearly as aware when we give offence to others by our words or actions.
Taking offence at others is part of our willingness to find fault with what other people say and do. The Bible shares that people said offensive things about both John the Baptist and Jesus. When John came, neither eating nor drinking, they said he had a demon. When Jesus came, they said he was a glutton and a drunkard a friend of tax collectors and sinners.
I suggested Ed needs to be patient when working with his old machinery, and see its value beyond some breakdowns. Likewise, when dealing with his cousin, Omar, it is important also to be patient. It is to a person's honour to avoid strife for fools are quick to quarrel.
Refuse to let an issue move into your thoughts and heart and let it live and grow there. If we hold onto our grievances, they will stir up anger and strife in our lives, as surely as churning cream produces butter and twisting the nose produces blood. When we throw offenses away like unwanted garbage, a new, healthier, heart and spirit grows within us.
