Recently, Benedict Cumberbatch referred to black people as “coloured” in an interview where he was discussing racial inequality in the performing arts in the UK. The unfortunate term caused an outcry, and Cumberbatch later apologized in what can be seen as a step by step instruction manual in how best to sincerely apologize when you’re a celebrity.
Admit fault
Cumberbatch uses phrases like “I make no excuse for my being an idiot” and “I feel the complete fool I am.” He acknowledges that he was ignorant and wrong, and makes no effort to try to temper the blame by saying, “I’m sorry if I offended anyone,” or like David Letterman, talk about how his affairs were the centre of an extortion scheme.
And he really doesn’t “apologize” by saying he should have used a different insult, like Ted Nugent apologizing for calling Obama a sub-human mongrel: “I do apologize – not necessarily to the President – but on behalf of much better men than myself,” he said, and apologized for using the “streetfighter terminology of ‘subhuman mongrel’ instead of just using more understandable language, such as ‘violator of the Constitution.’” In other words, he basically said, “I’m not going to apologize to the president for using a racially-charged insult, but I am going to apologize for not using a better one.”
Own your mistake
Cumberbatch said, “I apologize again to anyone who I offended for this thoughtless use of inappropriate language…” He didn’t say, “I apologize if you were offended.” He apologized to everyone who took offense, maintaining that he was in the wrong. He also acknowledged that he understood the gravity of his mistake by recapping what his mistake was.
Who didn’t own his mistake? Rob Ford, who tried to dismiss his crack smoking by saying he probably did it in a drunken stupor, which makes it better.
Another example is Stephen A. Smith, who, when discussing Ray Rice’s assault of his wife, said people need to discuss what a woman can do to avoid provoking violence. After his remarks received backlash, he responded on Twitter by saying that he didn’t mean that women were to blame for domestic abuse, just that they could prevent it. That clears things up.
Meanwhile, Eric Bolling, who referred to the first female US Air Force pilot as “boobs on the ground” started his apology with a jokey, “I made the joke, and when I got home, I got ‘the look.’” Cue laugh track.
Make an effort to learn from your mistake
Clearly Cumberbatch just made an innocent but ignorant mistake as he was talking about the lack of opportunities for black people in the UK entertainment industry. He said, “While I am sorry to have offended people and to learn from my mistakes in such a public manner, please be assured I have.” Since he clearly was coming from a place of ignorance, and not malice, his apology rings true.
As for the opposite of this? Chris Brown’s apology for beating Rihanna in 2009 said some of the right things – calling his behaviour “inexcusable” and wanting to take full responsibility. It’s negated a bit by him saying, “I have done a lot of soul searching and over the past several months I have talked with my minister and my mother and I spent a lot of time trying to understand what happened and why.” (Short answer: you beat a woman because you can’t control yourself) But overall, it’s a pretty okay apology. Except his behaviour since then makes it clear that he learned nothing and regrets nothing, except that he got caught – from breaking a window when asked about the incident to tweeting that he wishes everyone would just stop living in the past.
The most important part of a public apology is actually meaning it and not trying to place the blame anywhere else. It sucks to acknowledge that you messed up, but in the end, the celebrity in question will come off a lot better in the court of public opinion.
