Like many other people lately, I was talking to a couple friends about the recent death of Robin Williams. Unsurprisingly, the sad irony of the situation was not lost on us. What was surprising, however, was when a gentleman at a nearby table interrupted our conversation to say, "You know, nobody even cared about depression until he died. It took a celebrity dying for everyone to sit up and take notice."
Now, granted, his words were a bit harsh, but weren't they true? No doubt depression was often talked about, but usually only by medical professionals or by people connected to depression in some way shape or form. The sad truth is nobody cared.
For too many years now, the uneducated masses on the other side of the depression fence couldn't comprehend the reality of the condition. For too many years, people thought that it was something you could just fix if you tried a little harder and stopped feeling sorry for yourself. Suddenly, a celebrity death later and everyone is sitting up and taking notice. Suddenly, depression is a serious social crisis that needs to be discussed.
The reality is it's always been a serious issue. More people are beginning to recognize the signs, but there isn't a viable solution. So far, the best anyone can do is either talk to a professional or get a hold of some antidepressants. Then they might start popping those like candy in the hopes that it will relieve some of the anguish. What made everything worse is that non-depressed people couldn't understand that it wasn't just a self-pitying mood swing.
At least, not until now. Finally, people are taking it seriously thanks to Robin Williams.
Now that the discussion of depression has become a serious table topic, it's about time to clear up a few misunderstandings. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, "someone experiencing depression is grappling with feelings of severe despair over an extended period of time. Almost every aspect of their life can be affected, including their emotions, physical health, relationships and work."
It's not just someone who has the blues. It's more encompassing than that and way more uncontrollable and complex. The biggest thing is that depression. Is. Not. Logical. It's not something a person can just jog off or easily fix; it's a MENTAL ILLNESS. So before anyone tries to go around offering words of crappy pseudo-wisdom to clinically depressed people, there are a few things they should take note NOT to say:
1. "It's all just in your head." That's the most ridiculous thing one person can say to another with a mental illness. Of course it's in their head, that's the whole problem.
2. "Choose to be happy." Right. Because people with depression haven't tried that already. Because they would all prefer lying in their beds feeling worthless instead.
3. "Everybody has problems, why are yours any worse?" It's not an issue of whose problems are better or worse. The concern here is that depression is like an albatross weighing down a person and keeping them from doing anything. Even small amounts of negativity can reinforce the problem until it's immobilizing.
4. "Everyone gets depressed sometimes." No, everybody gets sad sometimes. For people with depression, it's not just a passing mood swing. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.
5. "Get up, be active, and eat right. You'll feel better." I won't say that doing those things isn't a good way to at least try feeling better, but it's not a solution. One of the biggest things many people fail to realize is that depression saps a person of their motivation. If they can't find the motivation even to eat, why bother getting up to exercise?
The most incomprehensible aspect of depression is its illogical nature. A depressed person can logically understand that going for a walk might make himself feel better, but he won't because the thought process is, "what's the point? It won't help. Nothing will make this better." For other people, they'll get up and go through the motions, but the mental barrier keeping them from enjoying life still remains.
In the end, everyone has an opinion and Robin William's suicide has given them a reason to share it. Unfortunately, a lot of those views are uninformed. Even my own is limited by the simple fact that I've never experienced it (I've just spoken to a few people who have). So when a depressed person is trying to explain to you how they feel, don't argue. Don't try and offer condescending advice that they've most likely tried already. If they decide to try and explain it to you, be quiet and listen.
Youth suffering from depression can call the Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868.
MJ
