So last week we discussed whether Alberta and obviously Saskatchewan should join the United States after deciding that being a Canadian supplier of goods, services and yep, even dollars to the rest of Canada with little coming back in return, was getting a little tiring.
Maybe a new world order, some fresh perspectives provided by our nearest neighbour to the south, might prove invigorating.
So let’s contemplate the possibilities and potential lifestyles Alberta, and later Saskatchewan, might encounter if the decisions were to be made to become States No. 51 and 52.
For now, let’s just stick to Alberta though, shall we?
First up, according to the National Rifle Association’s federal mandate, based on the Alberta population, at least 1.8 million AK-47s and 2.3 million AR-15s would have to be imported and distributed within 60 days, to meet existing U.S. gun ownership/possession requirements. After all, the NRA down there gets to call the shots, literally and figuratively. They really like to shoot one another it seems. Open carry for anyone over the age of eight. Easy enough?
The new medical care system will be in effect to replace the universal health system currently being practised in Canada, under pressure and duress. The Canadian system will be replaced by what the U.S. refers to as their version of Medicare (hello Tommy Douglas, do you like how they stole your idea?), and Medicaid for 40 per cent of the population. The rest will be covered by the more popular “Too late for the ER” and “Pay as you go” systems currently being deployed in the U.S. Need a new hip joint? How about $80K, up front please. Medical insurance? Surely, you must be kidding?
Citizenship? Born in the United States? Nope … but Ted Cruz, was born in Calgary, so he’ll come up from Texas and be appointed the “interim governor” of the state of Alberta until a real governor can be elected, but keeping in mind, if you were born in Canada, you may not qualify to cast a ballot.
Being born in Canada won’t necessarily make you special. This will keep election costs down substantially since only those Albertans born in the U.S.A. will be eligible to vote, unless for some reason they have a U.S. green card or an H-1B card or one of those gold visa cards promoted by President Donnie Deflector.
You supposedly can become a legal American by Deflector’s standards for only US $5 million. Just flash that card when the masked ICE squad comes calling or they ask for ID at any other location, and they’ll leave you alone. Money talks.
If you have a tattoo and are a little short of that $5 million, be aware. You are not a U.S. citizen yet and may never be. The tattoo might indicate you are a member of a gang or worse, a socialist (they call them communists in the U.S.) or liberal-leaning political party supporter, and therefore you may be shipped off to El Salvador, Sudan, Haiti or Toronto as punishment for the crime that will be determined later,
Policing? Well, no more of those red-coated Mountie guys and girls. No more musical rides. Alberta folks must now fill out huge sheets to elect sheriffs, deputy sheriffs, marshals, deputy marshals, DEI and ICE officers and FBI leaders and CIA head hunters and lots of other official policing agencies that have a mandate to arrest you. That is, if Albertans are allowed to vote (See above).
They might be advised to keep in mind, if they do get a vote, that the law enforcement actions are based on the fact these police people need to be re-elected every two to four years. Caveat Emptor.
Cruz will connect with previous leader Danielle Smith to determine future political steps to take for the election of city clerks, city managers and other civic administrators, rural councillors and civic counsellors, dog catchers, warrant issuers, school board members and their directors and administrators. And yes, the ballots are big and lengthy, but democracy must be served.
Alberta will have two elected senators, and, oh let’s say, five, maybe six congressional representatives. That’s it. Keep it simple. They need more sheriffs and marshals and fewer politicians. That’s the way to go.
Women within the new State of Alberta will keep in mind there is no such thing as maternity leaves and no laws in place to defend the right to be absent from your job for more than a few days just because you had a kid. You leave … you lose. It’s democracy. You want a maternity leave? Take it up with that union you’re trying to join.
Canadian currency? What a joke. Coloured shiny bills and what are these loonies and toonies about anyway? Gone … to be replaced by the boring but universally accepted American currency featuring a sort of green/brown bill (all of them) and change, including the return of the penny.
Donnie Deflector will definitely declare there is no need for that governor gGeneral stuff, like those lieutenant governors. They have Marco and Stephen to run those mills. Don’t worry though; they don’t have to be elected. It’s complicated at times. Elect a dogcatcher, but appoint a secretary of state.
What about flags and anthems? No more leaf things please and O Canada is out in favour of everyone’s favourite tune, Star Spangled Banner and don’t even think about that God Saving the King stuff … that’s Donnie’s role. Charlie’s out.
Hockey? Ugh, Deflector doesn’t understand that game. New national game for the State of Alberta has to be baseball. Of course no team will be representing Alberta … too cold.
Football? Well, goodbye CFL, hello NFL. Take the step back to 11 men, you know, the game played on a smaller field with bigger players, boring scoring and no kickoff returns. Yes, that game and again, no team for Alberta.
And we could go on, but I’m thinking the changes Alberta may encounter are sundry and will often be perplexing, but that’ll just make it that much more interesting.
So, could Saskatchewan be far behind if Alberta takes that vital step? Don’t forget what we talked about last week, you know, we like to do what Alberta does, after Alberta does it.
Disaster? Or could it be fun and worth the effort?
You decide Alberta, but then we’re not sure yet if you would actually get to vote on it anyway. The Deflector has these things he calls executive orders that he likes to use a lot and they seem to scare current U.S. citizens into doing crazy things. So again, buyer beware.
