It's happens to the best of us, you're ask to do something that have no interest in doing but you still say "yes" or your asked a question that you think is asking a bit too much but still, you reluctantly share your info. It can be a bit difficult to say "no" at times and for people in abusive relationships, especially women that problem can be overwhelming.
However, for women who live in Carlyle and neighbouring communities, help is on the way. Envision Counseling and Support Centre will be holding their Assertiveness Workshop for Women on Friday, Jan. 31 from 9:30am to 3:30 p.m. at the centre's office on Main Street.
In a recent interview with Envision's outreach coordinator, Sheena Wock and she told the Observer that a lot of women tend be placed in passive roles from an early age and as a result many women take on these roles throughout their lives. She also explained the goal of the workshop and the various aspects of women's lives where assertiveness can be employed.
"You want to say no and you just don't know how to say it but you end up saying yes and committing yourself to too many things and then you become the one to really have anxiety over that. It's just a way for women to step up and be a bit more assertive and in their personal lives, professional lives, with their children, their partners, coworkers, and even friends," she said.
"Sometimes you can be taken advantage of by somebody who loves you dearly but just always knows you'll bake that bun cake for whatever's coming up. Maybe you're not able to do it this time but they just assume that you'll be able to do that."
Wock said the workshop teaches women how to have that conversation that will make them be comfortable with what they're saying and be able to stand behind their words.
"You might say no and get backed into a corner or something and end up saying 'Ok fine then, I'll just do it," she said.
She explained that in some relationships, individuals will manipulate someone and make them think they're going crazy. This she said can be done by just how someone speaks, in an effort to influence a woman's thought. Wock said abuse is all about power and control and stressed that it can be done in a very passive way.
"Oh I hate when you wear that shirt,' and meanwhile that shirt was fine yesterday but today it's not and it's all these little things that add up," she said.
The workshop will be the first of its kind to be at the Carlyle office and will be conducted by two facilitators and caters to women over the age of 18.
"We find with that demographic they're more open and candid," Wock explained and said Envision has been tailoring the workshop for 20 years now.
She also said many people attend the workshop every chance they get because they like to brush up their skills and make sure they're on point.
"Some of the working professionals come in and they want to be able to assertive themselves very professionally and might have a skill set where they are managing people to be assertive and not passive and not aggressive," she said.
Envision however tries to expand their workshops in other areas of the communities. Wock stated that's after their last workshop several members of the community urged them to venture into the schools and impart the skills unto children.
"Envision is going out in the schools and incorporating things, and its true our children do need to know how to be assertive so they don't get put into situations where they're not comfortable doing something,' she said.
"We have an outreach educator and go out and do different things, at different schools, we are in Weyburn Estevan and Stoughton."
She however highlighted that due to constraints of time and school schedules, sometimes Envision isn't able to cover enough ground but said it's a nice icing on the cake when they can get in the schools. There will be other Envision events in the coming months and Wock praised the community for their involvement since their opening in 2012.
"We are so pleased to have the support in Carlyle because we are really trying to break into the community and get our name out there and tell people what we do," she said.
