I'm guilty of driving in the right lane even when I'm not going to turn, because turning isn't always required and I just see it as good forward planning. Especially when I'm driving in Regina and I don't always know where the traffic is going to be, and if I'm going to be able to get into the lane I need. Consider that today while driving, I nearly side-swiped the crap out of a Cavalier. Fortunately he dodged me like a professional, but things could have ended a lot worse.
So I generally try to get into the correct lane right off the top.
But every time I drive in the right lane, there always seems to be that one, irate hockey mom 15 minutes late to start supper who's behind me, impatiently smashing her open palm into the steering wheel. The look on her face suggests that I am keeping the light from changing, and am responsible for her being unable to get into the Walmart parking lot. She always glares at me while I sit trembling, meeting her icy gaze in my rear view mirror. I usually lock my car doors, in the off chance that she wants to get out and confront me face-to-face.
As you can see, it's a very terrifying time, but I always find myself in this situation. I just want so badly to save myself time and be efficient that I ignore the fact that some people out there just need to stop at Sobeys to pick up a jar of Ragu and I am ruining their lives.
At this point, it's really turned into my personal mission in life. I don't see it as a form of torture or anything, so much as a training exercise in patience. These drivers should thank me, because I routinely force them to sit in their Land Rovers and wait longer than they knew was possible. The small trials of patience in their lives following their encounters with me seem that much more relaxing and within their control.
I should also point out that this is best done when I'm not driving my own vehicle. With my job in Regina, I drive vehicles that are not my own every day. This makes it great for me to escape without people being able to track my licence plate. It also helps prevent them from recognizing me later.
So you are welcome, angry right turners. And eternally more patient. You are welcome.
Tonaya Marr hates it when roles are reversed and she is stuck waiting for someone to move so she can turn. But it wasn't worth mentioning that in this column. If you have a traffic complaint, e-mail Tonaya at tonaya.marr@gmail.com or tweet her @TonayaMarr.
