Okay, so I promised to try and do "guest" columns to keep everyone out there on their toes. I had many comments from friends, acquaintances and complete strangers on past columns and appreciate the input. This will be a bit more somber but important none-the-less.
Since June was senior month, I felt I would put in my two cents concerning the elderly in our society.
My father recently entered the health care system due to a broken leg in March. Up until this time, he had been living at his home....our family home since 1959, when I was still a twinkle in my parents' eye. He has since turned 84 years young and up until this incident was fairly independent. He was rushed to Regina, his leg set and was discharged back to Estevan within four days. Now he is in "the system". If you have not had to deal with this in any way, the rest of my column will be somewhat foreign to you, but hopefully this will stick in your mind when you need it.
Now I feel very fortunate that I am from a family of 11 but in the present day, most of my family works. This does not allow any of us to be at my Dad's side on a full time basis. We all do our very best to be sure someone is with him the maximum opportune time but that is not always easy. We all have children (and some of us grandchildren) of our own, so spending time with my Dad is sometimes challenging. Since I lost my Mom four years ago, I have begun to understand "the circle of life" phrase. I don't like it but I have spent many hours pondering the care I received as a child and now the care I am asked to give in some way to my parents. My father has been placed in the Weyburn Special Care Home, which for me is great but for him not so great. This man has been plucked from his hometown and moved to a place that is completely foreign to him by no choice of his own. Don't get me wrong, they have been FANTASTIC here, but I am so sick of hearing people say, "That's the way it is" or "It's policy."
I recently had some friendly advice from a friend who told me to fight for what my Dad wants. This rejuvenated me, as after three months of this, frankly my family and I feel a bit defeated. This man helped raise nine children and I must say, along with an angel for a Mom, did a pretty good job. He worked into his 50's and truly enjoyed retiring. Now when he is aged, "the system" just washes their hands of him. I feel sad that he feels, on down days, that he has no purpose. The things that used to be "second nature" are no longer so in the hospital. If you want your hair combed, your drippy nose wiped, your nails clipped, your ears cleaned and some places...your hair washed, you better have family assistance because these things are not generally being done anymore. In the "old days", I remember having nurses come in and give you a back rub before you went to bed. That level of "perks" is not happening today. I had a friend tell me they had an ailing parent in the hospital and after doing all the personal care for them, went hunting for a nurse to help. She wandered up and down the bare halls of a Regina hospital only to finally find FIVE of them huddled around the television watching a Rider game. Now as much as I love the Riders, I, for some reason, am not allowed to watch them at work as I'm sure my boss wouldn't understand my justification of pay. Not only that, but when approached, they were downright rude that you were interrupting the game. Are you kidding me? The problem is, they all want to be in management and no one wants to do the work anymore.
Now before you write me a letter or send me an email, this does not apply to everyone. I have many family, friends and acquaintances in the health care system and the level of care and the pecking order has changed dramatically over the years. Just like there are good teachers, police officers, doctors, etc., there are DEFINATELY some great care givers. Where my father is, it is not uncommon to see, on a day to day basis, someone giving the residents a hug, a shoulder rub, a hand squeeze and the occasional kiss on the forehead or cheek. After weeks of observation, some of these caregivers are gruffer than others, but that is just human nature. When I say gruffer, I mean more in a hurry - a faster pace, a quicker step, which is a personality trait not abuse. They are still in the busy outside world, not the laid back one of the home. That in itself is a hard sell as even when I'm there, I find myself fidgety at times instead of enjoying the relaxed pace. The food has been marvellous and I feel he is being treated with dignity and respect, which is what he deserves.
I could go on and on but unfortunately it is something we will all have to experience on our own. For whatever reason, whether it be money or manpower, I really think we have gone backwards in our attempt at caring for the elderly. My only advice is to fight for them, stay on top of their care and help them enjoy their final days as you enjoyed being cared for by them.
Pet peeve of the week: When drivers put on their signal light and then don't turn or don't put on their signal light and turn. If you don't let other drivers know your intention, you will pay the price, sooner or later. That's just me...let me know what you think!
