Sometimes I'm way too old for my own good. That's just the case when it comes to Halloween.
There isn't much for me to get excited about when Oct. 31 rolls around each year. Halloween is a day of things that really turn me off, from the orange and black colour schemes to the vast amounts of cheap and sugary sweets. I have no sweet tooth. I'd take a regular apple over a candy apple any day.
Worst of all, if there is anything that could possibly make me uncomfortable it's dressing up in a costume. Halloween then becomes an awkward catch 22, where I'm uncomfortable if I dress up in some embarrassing outfit, but feel just as out of place as the lone soul wearing slacks and a fall jacket at a gathering where everyone else is dressed up in their best cosplay outfits, ready for a night of pretending to be somebody else, and definitely somebody who is better than themselves.
There aren't many more pointless special days than Halloween. I get it. It's supposed to be fun and a night when people can dress up, get together and enjoy the company of other people.
The cynic in me says it's an excuse for the candy companies to sell us chocolate, like Christmas is an excuse for companies in all pockets of our economy to finally make some money in the suffocating spirit of giving.
A quick look online associates observances such as church services, prayer, fasting and vigils, but I've never heard of any of those things in connection with Halloween. I can't imagine how fasting and pillow cases full of chocolate ever got tangled into one giant mess of an event, but it sounds like nobody else really knows what Halloween is all about either.
Other people have little clue as to the point and purpose of this strangest of all special days, not including Broccoli Day as noted by Calvin Daniels in the column below.
A woman I know is facing a Halloween dilemma, having been the driving force of her kids' costumes in the past. No longer can she find something for her two daughters to wear. Now those kids want to dress up as something particular, and her costume suggestions have dipped into lame territory.
Her costume ideas are finally out of touch with what the kids are wearing these days, and her kids finally reached an age where they've developed a desire to dress themselves and that means trick-or-treating as princesses, not cowgirls.
The first time I decided for myself what I would be wearing while I disturbed the neighbours' dinners with my obnoxious knocking and demands for candy, I wanted to be a ninja turtle. My mom toiled for weeks creating that hideous and enormous green turtle suit.
With my aversion to dressing up in costumes, the thought of it makes me cringe even though I know I was just an idiot kid who wanted to look awesome as I tried to score some of those extra large chocolate bars that only one or two houses would be handing out that year.
Nobody would like to enjoy Halloween more than I would, but it's no longer an evening I can draw much pleasure, because as the saying goes, I'm 26 going on 66.
Hopefully everyone can find themselves enjoying the happiest of Halloweens.
