It pays to have people with clout as your best friends. Naturally and obviously, I don't have any friends like that. Most of my buddies are cloutless, and that's a good thing.
I'm not in Bieber's posse and Stevie Wonder that Harper boy, doesn't have me on speed dial or as a Facebook friend. Brad Wall was nice enough to talk with me once. In fact, I've talked to several people with some sufficiency of influence but only because they had to talk to me, not because they wanted to, or sought me out to share a beer on a hot Saturday afternoon after cleaning the eavestroughs.
Nope, can't say I travel in those airy circles.
But Rob Ford, the overwhelming mayor of that city over to the right, does.
In mid-September of last year, well before the latest Canada Builds details and parameters were drawn, Toronto the Good received $660 million for their Scarborough subway extension project.
Apparently, Canada's keeper of the piggy bank James Flaherty and Ford the Teflon-coated fumbler are good friends.
When asked how TO was able to jump the queue and nab the big bucks, Jimmy suggested that Robbie got the money for his subway because he wrote him and asked for them.
Who knew a postage stamp and a pretty-please letter was all that was required.
Of course, being Canadians, nobody raised a stink about this except some Maclean's magazine reporter and who the heck pays attention to reporters?
On this side of the fence, as a contributor to Canada through taxation, I was at first amused, bemused, and then a little peeved.
How much of that money might have been diverted to Saskatchewan if only we had asked for it ahead of time, instead of waiting for the rulebook to be written?
Last week the feds said they were willing to fork over $4 million as their share for paving poor riddled Highway 39 from Estevan to Macoun, but nothing to twin that overworked stretch from the Bienfait corner to Estevan, at least not this year. Was it because Toronto got a good whack of the money ahead of time for a subway?
This makes Tony Clement's gazebo projects look minor league in comparison.
But then our federal masterminds also spent $2.5 million advertising the Canada Jobs Grant. You know, that was the program that only existed in their imagination. Maybe they spent another $2 million on fairy dust.
I've been told the Jobs Grant is now close to reality and the federals are going to go about it on their own, without provincial participation. This makes me wonder how much they're going to spend on advertising this time, now that it's no longer a fantasy.
And doesn't it make you wonder about the validity of a program if the provinces don't want any part of it? They know the price of trying to play ball with Ottawa crazies.
The message this week dear diary is if you need a few bucks to finish the kitchen flooring project, write Jimmy Flaherty a polite snail mail letter well ahead of time and wait for the cheque. Or, if you know where Nigel Wright is hanging out these days, you can try him. Seems he's an easy touch, too.
Oh Canada, our home and negative land.
