Lying on the bed in the tattoo shop, I was remarkably calm. Not quite knowing what to expect, I focused on my breath. I closed my eyes and imagined waves crashing onto the shore - my happy place.
People continuously questioned whether I felt nervous. I told them I did. It's the appropriate answer for a first tattoo. Truthfully though, I didn't. Feel nervous, that is. This great feeling of anticipation grew within me instead.
The buzzing of the tattoo gun was distant, as I continued to focus on my breathing. Then he made his first line and my excitement mushroomed.
As my body pumped out adrenaline to ease the pain, I felt this unexplainable rush. To me, the process of getting inked is just as exhilarating as seeing the final outcome.
It took years to decide on my first tattoo. From the age of 15, I went back and forth between countless ideas, some of which I desired for years at a time. But then I came across a perfect concept a few weeks ago.
Tattoos can be many things to many people. For me, my first had to represent something within me, while at same time being a beautiful piece of art I would proudly wear on my body until the day I die.
I wanted a tattoo - this tattoo in particular - for a few reasons, first and foremost being the significance behind the design.
Remember my 'You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf' column I wrote last year? Well for those who don't - to make a long story short - I rode my first surf wave last year.
Surfing captivates my soul. Always has. I often dream of how different my life would be if my parents were easygoing soul surfers who raised their children beachside in a small home with nothing but the essentials.
My constant yearning for materialistic things would be non-existent because I would have been raised on the edge of the consumerist society, instead of immersed within it. I'd feed my soul with everything Mother Earth provided - sun, wind, waves, food - instead of attempting to calm my insatiable hunger for more with materialistic things, which have no real use in my life.
Instead, my dad continually told me to work hard in life so I could afford nice things, effectively creating a desire for the material.
But what happens when you lose the material you've worked so hard to build and you haven't taken any time to build your soul?
My tattoo represents the part of me that takes time to nurture my soul - or myself - with things that no one can ever take away. The waves - the overpowering part in the design - remind me to live a simpler life. They also remind me that although I can't stop the waves, I can learn to surf them - although I can't stop the unfortunate and unpredictable things from happening in my life, I can learn to surf their waves.
The mountains seen in background of my tattoo design represent my love for snowboarding and being in the mountains. Learning to snowboard has been a challenge, as my significant other would take me to areas I felt I was nowhere near ready to ride. But I rode. And rode. This gave me the ability to realize that although things in life may seem challenging at times, I'm capable of making it through.
I placed the tattoo on my left side, starting on my stomach then curving between my ribs and hip, and flowing onto my back. I opted to keep in black instead of adding colour simply because I don't wear colourful clothes, so I wouldn't want a colourful tattoo.
Lastly, I wanted a work of art tattooed on my body to prove to myself I could do it. I wanted to make a decision and commit to it.
And, as they say, once you get one tattoo, it's like an addiction - you want more. I'll likely hold out until next winter when wakeboarding/surfing season is done, which will give me a solid few months to decide upon and commit to my next defining piece.
