He said
Ordering food for a woman is something I vaguely recall from some old movies, and as a young person, I probably thought it was weird, but if the movie says so, it must be OK.
As an impressionable youth, I remember wondering why that poor woman just didn't order her own food. Could she not read the menu?
Old movies have other possibly out-of-date etiquette for men to follow, like opening and closing car doors. Why don't we just put the seatbelt on for them too?
The issue of ordering food came back to light after reading a story in which a female journalist sat down for lunch to interview Jay-Z. He ordered a meal for her.
That's a move that very few people can do, but if any man could actually pull it off, it would probably be Jay-Z. I don't have the charm or the chutzpah to really make that happen, no matter how familiar I am with my fellow diner.
Dining is a very important thing to some people, and I am one of those people. I like to choose what I eat, because sometimes I'm not in the mood for fish sticks and Greek salad. If Jay-Z ordered that for me, when I really wanted some spaghetti carbonara, I would be really upset with Jay-Z.
It may be different for women, but I can't imagine this being one of those things that separates the sexes. After doing a quick survey around the office of three women, not one of them said they would appreciate being ordered for. That poll was unscientific, and I'm not good with numbers, so the margin of error there could be high.
Even if a woman told me to order for her, I wouldn't know what to do. That's a lot of pressure with the permission of your date, let alone without it.
It's a move for perhaps the classiest and most James Bondesque of the man clan. There may be a time when it works, but I would certainly never try it for fear of the table, and all my tasty spaghetti carbonara, being flipped into my lap.
She said
There are so many factors to take into consideration with this one. First of all, is this a date? Is this the first date? Let's assume it is a date. If this is a long-standing boyfriend who knows what she likes and she's being super indifferent or indecisive about the whole thing, I don't see anything wrong with him stepping up and ordering something for her.
However, if this is the first date and this guy just goes ahead and chooses something for a girl, without consulting her first, then we've got a problem. I mean, she could have an allergy! I assume that most women would be texting their friends for a bail-out call at this point.
Plus, there's the whole stigma about ordering salads for girls. Some girls love to eat salads, regardless of their weight. After all, some people are vegetarians and a tasty salad might be exactly what they're craving. But if some guy steps up and orders a woman a salad, I feel like she has every reason to be insulted. Is he making a comment on her weight? Is his comment price-range orientated? Is he just a jerk that should be kicked in the shin?
Obviously, there's something attractive about a guy who's confident enough to make a decision for a girl. There's an emerging genre of fiction based on this guy, actually, since Fifty Shades of Grey made being a control-freak sexy. But in Fifty Shades, Christian gets the order right every single time. He smoothly chooses a dinner that's perfect for Anastasia, who's a bit of a weak, submissive female to begin with. His controlling nature works for them, but that doesn't mean it's going to work for anyone else.
Here's my thinking: If you're a guy who knows a delicious item on the menu that's going to wow your date, ask her to consider it. If she's OK with the idea of trying it, or suggests that you decide for her, then order. It also helps if you have an idea what she likes, though I've had tons of foods recommended to me that I assumed I'd hate, then ended up really enjoying. But for the most part, boys, let a girl order for herself. Today, women are strong, independent and have their own ideas, and if she needs you to order food for her, do you really want to be out with her at all?
