There is the Bank of Canada and every country has their version of that except Russia, where they have the Bank of Putin. The International Monetary Fund takes care of the mixing of currencies and businesses across borders. That means they probably have at least three bookkeepers and someone to fix the computers.
When it comes to international trade, currencies and economies, I'm about as useless as a referee in an NBA game. I know not much, and see less.
Correct me if I'm wrong here, but weren't Italy, Spain, France, Greece, Ireland, Somalia and the U.S. clinging to the precipice of monetary ruin three years ago? Wasn't the Euro on the deceased list?
Climbing out of their economic abyss was going to take decades, said their central banks and IMF. Their stock markets were in Armageddon mode and heading towards the apocalypse.
Germany was the only kid on the block wearing sensible shoes and pants and paying attention in class. All the rest were running around in the tank tops and flip-flops of international business.
Now turn your attention dear diary, to today's headlines.
Whoosh. It was just a false alarm. In fact, who said they were in trouble? Shame on you.
Spain, Italy, France? Well, their leaders may be a bit loopy and spinning out of control, but their economy is fine. I don't know how they did it, but apparently it's just super swell in Greece and Portugal where they used to give money to people for not working ever. Well, I guess we do that here, too.
So who pushed the magic reset button? I know the banks get away with it on a regular basis, but now it seems, entire countries get to recharge money supplies and ignore the bill collectors. When it comes to international finance, apparently there is a magic bullet. Do economic penance for a few months and then declare yourself cured. It's the Rob Ford self-correction method of rehabilitation. Keep saying it until they believe you.
Italy, France et al, saw what life was like on poverty row and decided not to go there. The traditional disciplines of paying the bills, removing debts and deficits, no longer applied to them. The politicians, bankers and money shifters declared a magical turnaround, business was back to normal and the media had it wrong. The stock market may have stumbled a bit, but their economies were better than ever and we believed them because we wanted to believe them, especially the Americans. If they wanted to push their $8 trillion debt down the road and into the ditch, well, good for them. Give LeBron James, Peyton Manning and Boeing another billion and keep on playing.
Maybe they paid some bills in Bitcoins or borrowed a few trillion from Warrant Buffet, Bill Gates, and a few Middle Eastern Emirs, to tide them over until the real money reappeared.
But what I do remember dear diary, are those fantastic rises and flops of the late 1990s when the world was flush with 800,000 dot com companies, that created two million or more millionaires practically overnight, and then crashed harder and more quickly than the Maple Leafs facing a playoff schedule. Four companies survived the ensuing economic slaughter and we quickly forgot those Economics 101 lessons. None of them made an actual profit.
Now it seems, we're doing the same thing, only this time it's whole countries that are playing this mug's game. I have no idea who is going to pull the plug on this international fiasco and I don't know if I want to be around to see how they clean up the mess.
