There is something to be said for being able to wear a mask once a year. Perhaps it is an expression of an alter-ego or creativity or paradox. Yet there are some who wear a mask 365 days a year, whether they realize it or not. Anyone who is not being true to him or herself is living in a masquerade.
If all one can do is maintain a personal fable, building a life on a foundation of lies, devastation is the inevitable result. Telling ourselves all kinds of things we only hope are true, acting out the drama and watching the outcomes in horror, all the while wondering how it could all happen. Some remain in denial for entire lifetimes. By owning up to what we have created and making something better for ourselves, we are able to contribute our unique perspective to the world.
When we embrace who we truly are, we see results of great achievement and healthy satisfaction from a life well-lived, such as joy in our children's eyes, pride in our parents' eyes and the laughter of acceptance when we look at ourselves in the mirror.
If we are willing to take responsibility, by owning our ability to respond to any outcome, our expectations of others cannot result in any kind of perceived problem. By taking ownership of our perception, we find grace for ourselves and for others; when the mask comes off from within us, we find our personal integrity.
Because integrity is a key characteristic of people who live in service of others, those who lack integrity also display selfish attitudes and outcomes. People who live below the level of integrity tend to cause problems, create chaos, waste time, and focus entirely on their ongoing dramas, rather than viewing themselves as having responsibilities unto their community, family, and their own personal destiny.
What is the difference between being true to oneself and living selfishly? By recognizing our true selves, we see our lives within the big picture, whereas selfish living has no regard for a greater context. As for personal growth, we are all at different places and some really do have to hit rock bottom in order to find balance. Why judge others just because they don't do as we do and say? We need to be vigilant about our own lives and how we treat people before we worry about what others are doing. I know we think that because we know better, we should do better and so should others. But aren't these types of unrealistic expectations also facades? We must have patience for those who haven't yet realized the same things we have realized. We can't expect a 6-year-old to behave like a 12-year-old, so why do we expect a spiritually immature person to act like a sage?
We don't need to keep letting ourselves become disappointed by others or to continue letting them walk all over us. We must remind ourselves that they are 'where they are at.' All we can do is tend our own gardens and hope that they tend theirs. As we take off our own masks, we hope they follow our lead.
We decide how much power we give to our circumstances. We declare our boundaries and responsibilities. Integrity allows us to remove any masks we may still be using to deny ourselves happiness. If integrity were a garment, it would be transparent!
May your only masks be a celebration of imagination, and may your true self shine!
