Welcome back to all my readers. I promised to write at least a column a month so that I can continue voicing not only my opinion but also yours...so here it goes.
I came across a saying that got me pondering things. As I age, sayings like this really hit me hard. I don't know if it's just that I understand them more or that I actually hope I can use my new-found wisdom to help out others.
The saying goes like this. Four things that can never be recovered. The stone after it's thrown, the word after it's spoken, the occasion after it's missed and the time after it's gone.
Wow, where do I start. First off, I think you should go back and re-read that sentence. SLOWLY. It is soooooo true. Unfortunately, all four things are human nature. You cannot walk along the beach, find that perfect skipping stone, throw it into the ocean or river and then have the ability to recover it. In my life lessons, I see the saying as a metaphor for once you truly hurt someone, you cannot make it right. You can repair the wound, but it will never again be the same.
This also applies to taking back a word after it's spoken. Once you speak hurtful words, whether you mean them or not, whether you say them in jest or out of anger....YOU CANNOT TAKE THEM BACK. Remember this when you're in a heated argument because you can soften the blow when cooler heads prevail but you can NEVER take the back the haunting words that have been spoken. This isn't always mean words. Sometimes people frivolously declare their love to others and say nice words. That too can be a troublesome memory if not meant, so choose your words carefully.
The third point is oh so true for me. I look back at so many occasions that I didn't go to because I felt I was too fat, too old, too young, too tired, too shy, too anything. I cannot have them back and I must fight the demons inside that remind me what a foolish mistake I made by missing them. Now not all occasions are meant to attend, but missing them for the wrong reason is truly ridiculous.
The last point made becomes more apparent as we age. Actually all four points hit home a lot harder as we mature and become wiser (ha, ha). We all spend our time when we are younger just being "young." We are invincible and two days or a week of doing nothing is so cool. Now, if I waste away a Saturday, I feel selfish and guilty. I look at my father who is in the Special Care Home and watch residents come and go and I feel that I can never have enough time and certainly cannot get the time back that I have lost with my Dad, my kids, my friends and my family. At some point in our lives, we have to make a decision to make the best of who we are, who we are with and to be true to ourselves. That is the best thing to do because indeed, these decisions can all be recovered.
As I have pointed out in past columns, my favourite Dr. Phil saying goes, "You cannot change what you don't acknowledge." If you always blame everyone else for things that go wrong in your life, they will never change. If you are a rotten cook, acknowledge you are and do something about it. If you are a horrible parent or partner, only you can do something about that. If you need to lose weight (like me) then quit stuffing your face, get off your butt and start a healthy living style (I promise, I'm starting). Change has to start from within. Blaming others will not fix the problem. Look within. Take responsibility. Acknowledge that, just maybe, some of the problem lies with you and change it. Trust me...this is a cleansing event. It's tough because you must admit that you're not perfect, but it is healing and so worth it. Once you release all that energy you use to sustain that perfection, you will recover many lost moments and begin to heal within. Nobody wants to grow old by themselves, so make a promise to yourself to take one day at a time and be as happy as you can be and everything else will fall into place.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I have a pet peeve from a reader. She displayed to me her displeasure at having to stand in line for two hours (or so) just to sign her children up for swimming lessons, only to get to the front of the line and find out there is no more room in the class. To further bring her blood pressure to a boil, she found out that others had dropped their forms off and had their children enlisted although she was told that no "drop-offs" would be allowed. What the heck? I'm so glad my kids are older. Oh wow...did I really say that?
Maxine's Advice: Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. (Boy isn't that the truth!)
Maybe that's just me...let me know what you think!
