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Speed Demon, the office gypsy

Fourth Street The City of Estevan has discussed changing the speed limit on much of downtown Fourth Street to 40 km/h, in an effort draw more attention to the many businesses that line the streets.
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Fourth Street The City of Estevan has discussed changing the speed limit on much of downtown Fourth Street to 40 km/h, in an effort draw more attention to the many businesses that line the streets. Their mission is admirable, and I agree that downtown has plenty of wonderful things to offer people travelling through.However, I feel that changing the speed limit would only be a punishment for loyal Estevan citizens. Fourty km/hour? What is this, Weyburn?! I prefer to experience downtown in fast motion, because I have figured out how the lights are timed and know that I need to go at least 55 km/h to make all of the green lights in a row, beginning at the theatre block and ending when I turn right onto Souris Avenue. Why the rush? Because I am constantly late for soccer/my tee time and need the extra speed and good timing to make up crucial minutes. Going 40 down Fourth will bum out my system, forcing me to either a) leave earlier, or b) miss my games. Knowing how much I love to procrastinate, and the fact that I can never remember both my shoes and my bag when I leave the house the first time, the speed limit MUST NOT CHANGE. Conversations with people who ask me for directions to a shop on Fourth go something like this:"Tonaya, where is Melle Jewelers?" "Well, interested citizen, Melle Jewelers is located right between TheOrpheumTheatreSecondAvenueObivouslyChicFrank'sonFourthJennyJones and HouseofStationeryCoffeeComfortStreetWear."Do the businesses run together slightly? Yes. Do I know where to find everything I need? I sure do.I can't be the only person who fears a slower Estevan. Fourth Street is meant to be experienced, I agree, but rather than "moseying down" it, as City council suggests, I'd like to see things stay the same. Slowing the speed limit could very well be the first domino, and very soon we will be speaking with drawls and referring to ourselves as people from the deep south. Ya'll, e'rythin' will fall ta pieces, we won' know who we's be anymo'.Career ChangeWorking at The Mercury has taught me that I no longer want to be a journalist. Now it's just a matter of telling my parents. I'm nervous, because I know how much money has been put into my education, and because they have big dreams for me. But recently a new career has come into my life, and I have fallen completely in love with it, and have sworn to dedicate my entire being to be the best fortune teller I can be.I bought a tarot card deck. I've decided to be a travelling gypsy with the fair.At first, I thought the tarot cards were going to be a bit of a joke, a symbol of my strange sense of humour, equivalent with the Time Turner I purchased at the same time. But after following the rules provided with the cards, I've committed myself way too much to simply consider tarot reading a mere hobby.I've been sleeping with them under my pillow. I store them in a safe box when I am not around. They are blending with my aura, I can feel it. We are becoming one.I have given five readings, all accurate and awe inspiring. Fortune telling is my calling. My next mission is to buy myself a trailer and a truck. I know, I have spoken out against driving such vehicles, but when one considers that this truck will be essential to my livelihood, my decision to own such a fuel-guzzler becomes respectable. I also need a turban*, probably of purple silk. If anyone knows someone who would be interested in fashioning one for me, please do not hesitate to let me know. All great fortune tellers need turbans, because they lets non-Seers know that we possess the Inner Eye.I will sign up to travel with a circus, preferably one that makes an appearance in or near Estevan. Whether or not my friends and family will want to see me is completely up to them, though I suppose I will know ahead of time, thanks to my future-seeing ability. As I travel, I will keep a record of my doings, writing with great humour and insight. I will carry my writing with me always, as a reminder of my great deeds and other-worldly knowledge. Eventually, and not because I will be boastful, people will learn of my writings and demand to see them and because I am such a considerate person, I will turn them over to local publishers, including newspapers and magazines.And so my work will come to be read by many, making me a very successful - Journalist.Frick.* Note: In this context, I mean a "woman's headdress or hat," not anything religious.