A few years ago, my parents made the difficult decision to leave our family farm and move into town. We called our farm home for some 36 years. It truly was our home and so many milestones could be seen etched into walls or trees, and I'm sure stories could be heard whispering through the trees.
Once a house in town was bought, like many of you reading this, the transition began. First in our minds, then our hearts and then the physical which was sorting and packing 36 years of life shared by six people. I thought long and hard about what it is that I wanted from the farm. What piece could I take with me that would allow me to remain close and connected to a place that saw me grow from a little four-year-old pig-tailed girl, into a 30-something woman with children of her own?
There are many memories I would love to pack up, so many conversations to remember and a few pieces of furniture, art and small reminders of my home I would love. When it came to the furniture there was one piece that spoke to me and the one that I decided to ask for with the hopes that neither of my siblings wanted it. What was it? It was the kitchen table!
You may think the kitchen table a strange request, however you must understand that in our house, like many of yours I'm sure, the kitchen table is the centre of so much. For us, it was almost like the central nervous system of our home. So much had happened and still happens around that table, so many hours of conversation, whether it was the early morning coffee with the neighbours, warm winter breakfasts, or the countless dinners that have been shared or maybe it's the late night heart to hearts. Whatever the case may be, our kitchen table has, and continues to host much laughter, some tears, always great food, many jokes and so much more.
Over the years I have learned that a kitchen table isn't simply wood and varnish; rather it is like a giant memory box. The kitchen table is the gathering spot where life is shared, where dreams are realized, where vision is cast and where laughter can be heard. Sadly, I see many new homes being built with no kitchen, rather preferring a nook to accommodate the odd quick meal. Some have no space for a kitchen table. This trend is seen more in our big cities and thankfully hasn't hit our small towns and I hope it never does. We seem to be living through the age of busy and very "I" focused. Many family meals resemble the TV dinner tray where everyone fills their plates and then evaporates into their own space enjoying their own company or that of the computer, reality television or a texting conversation.
There is something significant about the kitchen/dining table, it isn't just wood and varnish crafted into pieces that take up space. As I look through history I see that through feasting and dining, cultures come together. There is strength in breaking bread together as families and as communities.
I think about the story of the Last Supper and how Jesus brought His disciples around a table to share a meal and converse. I find it fascinating that this story could have taken place anywhere and being such a significant moment, as recorded in the Bible, it all happened around a table. Through this simple story and this one act, I have to believe that there is a message to us all. Tables are sacred places. They are a place where we can come together to talk about the hard things, to relax and enjoy one another's company, to communicate, to eat and to simply be together.
I would like to encourage you to use your dining table to its full potential. Through our work with the family room I have seen countless families come together simply by returning to the dining table. I have seen broken hearts mended and families begin to thrive through sharing a meal and getting back to what really matters. I find it interesting that we are designed to enjoy food more than once a day. We are designed to stop, sit and replenish, so why not start making this a critical part of our family schedules.
If you haven't enjoyed a meal together at the family table for awhile, may I suggest that you dust off the table, let everyone know that dinner is at 6 p.m. and prepare a family favourite. As you do so, make sure you sit back and watch everyone enjoy one another's company. I know you will be amazed. If you find yourself alone and without family, then I encourage you to extend yourself and invite someone to your table. If gathering at the table is something you do regularly, then please keep it up and why not invite someone over and share the time together.
Regarding my parents' kitchen table, I am happy to report that my parents willingly gave me the old table and that beautiful table still shows the chip that I etched out one warm summer day in 1978. I know that as the years continue and as life changes, I will hear the voices of my family and friends simply by sitting at that table and allowing the richness and memories flood my mind.
Use your tables and remember to always put an extra potato in the pot or rice in the cooker and leave room to squeeze one more in just in case someone turns up at dinner time.
Susan J Sohn
susanjsohn.com/thefamilyroom
susanjsohn@yahoo.ca
