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Opinion: When a relationship comes to an end

An opinion piece on handling relationships following a breakup.
stephanie-zoer-new-2023
Stephanie Zoer

It can be a strange feeling when a person can be in your life for months or years and suddenly, they will not be there anymore.

I am not talking about someone passing away, I am talking about when a relationship ends.

Relationships can end for many reasons – the person was abusive, had a drinking or drug problem, or they just fell out of love. Some end terribly and others can remain friends, it all depends on the people and the circumstances.

Those that end peacefully may end due to a new relationship. The new person has jealousy issues, and this brings the friendship to an end.

The memories that have been made cannot be erased, and it will not matter how hard a person tries. They will forever be there.

The end of a relationship can be one of the hardest things a person goes through in life. The memories are part of your story and will become part of your history.

Trying to move on from an ended relationship can be difficult, not only for the two people involved, but for other family members as well. They opened their homes and hearts to these people and now it is over.

My sister and her ex-husband John had been married for 10 years. Throughout those years, they never really got along, and I can honestly say that my sister had issues that interfered with her marriage. It came to an end and some of my siblings were happy to see this, but my husband and I always liked him. He never treated us badly and he was a lot of fun to be around.

Much to her disapproval, we continued our friendship with John. Just because she divorced him did not mean we had to.

This can be the same for a son-in-law or daughter-in-law. Often when a relationship ends, the person that called it quits expects the rest of the family to do the same.

I do not know about others, but I cannot turn off my feelings just because another person did.

This person was a part of the family. It also does not mean another person is not welcome to the family when a new relationship begins, but it may take some time for the family to warm up to someone new.

There will be times when a person may compare the one that was left to the new person. Is this fair? No it is not, but it is human nature to do so.

Now what happens when you know it was the family member that was the problem? This makes it even more difficult to remove the feelings.

Regardless of the issues, the memories remain the same and people say you need to move on, but for the rest of the family, why do they have to move on?

My sister and her ex-husband did become friends after a few years and even spent holidays together for the kids and grandkids. She was even at his side when he passed away and we were one of the last people he called a few days before he died.

When you end a relationship, whether it be on good or bad terms, it is in my opinion that you cannot ask family to do the same.

They do not need to be invited for the family Christmas dinner, but there is nothing wrong with that person coming for a visit when the other person is not around.

The next time a partnership ends, do not look to your family or friends to do the same, they did not live with the person, nor did they end it.