With Valentine's Day just recently passed, I've been thinking about the relationships I've experienced both first- and second-hand over the years. I've delved into my own personal relationships, and have reflected on the relationships of close friends and family members, I have to say, the trip down memory lane wasn't pretty and has left me with one crucial question: What makes a person the crazy ex?
I think that deep in our souls, we all have a little bit of crazy in us. No one likes rejection. No one loves being alone. No one likes having a broken heart. I'm totally guilty of toeing the line between "regular crazy" and "girl, you've got to be kidding me."
If you're with me, but aren't sure exactly where your craziness stacks up, have no fear because I've created a scale. A craziness scale, if you will.
1) The Ex-Girlfriend: The ex-girlfriend is typical in her first days as a newly single person. She cries a bit, binge eats and texts her friends to take her attention away from the burning hole in her heart. She also creeps her ex-boyfriend's Facebook profile, over-analyzing all this tweets and desperately waits for news on who he is speaking to. All-in-all, she's super sad and moving on with her life, while planning how to look fantastic every time there's even a remote chance she'll see her ex. This girl is a 2/10 on the crazy scale because she's a functioning human being capable of a variety of emotions.
2) The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: As you can see, there isn't a huge leap from being simply an ex to being a crazy ex. I think this is the difference from removing all the photos of you together from Facebook and/or deleting your ex immediately post-breakup. If this girl knows any of her ex's passwords, she'll be online checking out everything he's been saying or doing. This is also the type of ex who might plan some sort of crazy revenge, like hooking up with his captain/coach/brother/best friend. This girl is a 5/10 because while she's functioning in society, she's also a little bit evil and has loose morals, which aren't admirable human qualities.
3) The OK, Now You're Really Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: With this type of ex, we're talking about non-stop contact attempts, house drive-bys, calling and hanging up and just general obsessive behaviour. She's not afraid to be all up in your face with her desire to remain in the life she was cut out of. She's also happy to make threats to the new girls in her ex's life, though most of the time she's more talk (or nasty text) than action (girl fights). This girl is a solid 10/10 on the crazy scale. She needs a "friendtervention" to set her straight and show her she still has reason to live. Fortunately, she can live a normal life someday.
4) Seriously, Seek Help: This kind of girl may be beyond help, because even quality girl talk can't bring someone back from this deep, dark pit of insanity. This girl appears to have moved on with her life, but spends as much of her time as possible sabotaging the happiness of her ex. She's not afraid or ashamed to hurt someone she doesn't even know just because they loved/liked/met her ex. She sacrifices her own relationships and joy to dedicate time to nitpicking the women her ex meets, sending hateful texts and spreading rumours. Unfortunately for this type of ex, people know she's crazy and will generally avoid her. This girl is off the crazy charts. As soon as you're happy to hurt someone else with no benefit to yourself, you're beyond help. I hope you like cats!
I won't lie, I'm guilty of falling into the first three categories. I'm also sad to admit that I've heard of girls who fall into the fourth. No one is perfect ladies and it's OK to be a little crazy. But try to know where the line is and only cross it when it's absolutely necessary - like hockey games or weekends at the Beef.
Tonaya Marr likes to consider herself a role model. Rather than doing homework tonight, she wrote this column and baked a cake. Both are delicious. You can reach Tonaya at [email protected] or send her a tweet @TonayaMarr.
