The picture shown with my column this month is one of my Dad celebrating his 85th birthday in May. A very wise man (Dr. Phil) has said that the most influential person in your life is a same sex parent. As you all know, my Mom was the most important, influential, understanding, supportive person in my life. Now that my Mom is gone, my father has taken centre stage. A year ago, when my father came to live at the Special Care Home in Weyburn, I really felt that would be my last Father's Day with him. I felt, in my heart, that he was ready to leave us and that I wouldn't be able to enjoy another year with him. I'm very happy to say that I was soooooo wrong. He moved back to Estevan in March of this year, after 10 months here and he has really found a new purpose. Other than his bad hearing (which all men have), he has definitely perked up. My Mom always said that he had "selective" hearing and all men do. I would just laugh and I parked that thought away in my mind, but as I age, I realize that even way back then, she was planting the seed of wisdom. Most men (John always says "not ALL men") shut their hearing off when you need them to listen the most. I used to call it ignoring things but now I understand that they are just hearing what they want to. Oops, I'm getting off the subject of how grateful I am that I still have a wonderful Father. Not only that, I was blessed with a fantastic godfather, Uncle Matt, whom, like my godmother, is an important part of my upbringing.
After my last column about Mother's Day, my Auntie Rose (yes, the godmother) sent me these great lessons that our Mothers taught us. Enjoy!
Why I Owe My Mother
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful
parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!!
But, there is one missing from this list. My personal all time favorite!!
My mother taught me about CHOICE.
"Do you want me to stop this car?"
Maxine's saying: Age doesn't make you forgetful. Having way too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful.
Pet Peeve of the Week: Last month I voiced my concern about women being on the outside when walking with their partner. This month, it continues with men or males in general, not holding the door open. Not just men, but teenagers also. I was taught to open the door (especially for my elders) and when a door was held for me, to express my appreciation. These kids nowadays (wow, I sound like my parents) just have no manners. Honestly....people who push the door into my face while I enter an establishment, causing me to have to step aside while they continue to walk by me and throw me "that look"... this will get you no brownie points. Learn some manners and respect for others. That's just me....let me know what you think!
