I graduated from high school in 1995. It doesn't really bother me that it was 17 years ago. Who I was then is a certain reflection of the real me, because I was almost just as weird and I loved God and flowers, but the 18 year old Marna wanted something 'bigger and better' than what Weyburn had to offer back then. Deep down, I knew that there was something more for me out there and that's true, I did find many pieces of my personal puzzle when I lived in Calgary and Canmore, AB. Nine years ago, my heart led me directly to my husband Kelt in his home town of Calgary. I now know that I left Weyburn to bring him back here with me. He is absolutely far more suited to our small city than he was to his home metropolis.
That said, Weyburn has clearly graduated into a 'more happening' place to live. Either that, or family life is just more fulfilling than big city chaos.
Last week, our son Artan graduated from Kindergarten. I feel like I've graduated somehow as well. I can only speak as a mother who had the privilege of being home with her child, but I have experienced a state of ecstatic joy and comfort, just while spending those precious moments with my boy. I still enjoy reveling in the innocence and inquisitiveness, the unconditional acceptance.
There is a cosmic realization available to us as parents, to see that we are all reflections of divinity and that our children are purer reflections than we are. We realize very quickly that we would be willing to die for that kind of love. We can't escape the fact that we are here for such a short amount of time, whether we live a hundred years or not. We recognize, in our children, that we all leave a legacy.
We can see ourselves reborn in the eyes of our children. If we allow it, we can graduate to new levels of understanding about God and life. We can achieve new heights of patience, longsuffering, gentleness, kindness, peacefulness and joy. We can cultivate a fresh sense of humour. We can actually learn what it means to prioritize.
For those who don't have children, it is just as important to cultivate these qualities, as well as the discipline and devotion, of parenting. Your legacy can be just as powerful if focused on a cause or a masterpiece or an opus or a novel. Parenting is just one of the rides in life's theme park, but if nobody rode it, the whole park would have to close.
I was part of the first group who painted murals in the high school. After my graduation, I found out someone had defaced my mural, so very early on I realized that it may not stand the test of time. Lo and behold, the murals were painted over when that part of the school (the old building) became used for the College. Nonetheless, the whole thing will be torn down soon.
Something done as a learning exercise is never a waste of time, even if you think it's meant to last, it may not. We need to have grace for the kinds of graduation that might be perceived negatively at first.
My own personal high school graduation was mirrored when I graduated from my first marriage. It's okay to talk about those seven years, because Kelt was married before as well. We both know that we had to go through those learning experiences to better prepare us for the most important relationship of our lives.
With the starter marriages, we went through marriage pre-school. I feel like we are still in marriage elementary school, but some days it feels like we are getting top grades, we're teacher's pet. We'll collect awards and enjoy our achievements, but then we'll enter a new grade and it won't seem like we're on top of things any more. We'll have new lessons and new experiences, to better prepare us for the ones ahead of those.
I feel like our little soon-to-be Grade One'r has been helping us fulfill our Parenting 101 courses. We are so grateful for his brilliant mind and his strong, healthy body. He is a dream come true, literally. We have more dreams, too. The 'Parenting 201: The Mother of Two Experience' is still a course for which I haven't quite fulfilled the pre-requisites. but I'm a keener, I'll get there.
