Spring is in the air. Ironically the snow is still on the ground and my house was just about to get a whole lot chillier. If you are anything like me, spring makes me want to house clean, organize closets, move furniture around and even paint.
There’s only one problem... and he happens to stand six feet tall. He is my husband and he develops a slight twitch whenever I use the ‘paint’ word. He figures we could get at least one, two... well, actually eight or so years out of the last paint job.
So what's a gal to do? I do what any smart, self-respecting, mature adult would. I wait until he leaves. I had a six hour window of opportunity while he went to the city. He is a farm boy, after all, and the same twitch he has when talking about paint, hits him around the five hour mark in the city.
So, I headed down the local hardware store to pick out some paint. The good thing about my six hour time period is that it does not allow a lot of time to drive myself crazy trying to pick just the right shade of beige. I zoned in on the general shade I wanted and picked out the swatch. It was called ‘Rock Bottom’. I had to laugh. This color was meant to be. When my husband got home and saw what I had done, our marriage may just hit that.
Paint names have become very creative over the years. I saw colors named after foods like ‘Bagel’ and ‘Death by Chocolate’ but then there are some, not so appetizing ones like ‘Mouse’s Back’ and ‘Dragon’s Blood’. I don't know who makes up these paint names, but we need to talk.
I have yet to meet one single person, EVER, who exclaimed “Ohhhh, I love the color of mice. Especially their back. Their back is such a nice shade of grey. That colour would be very relaxing in the living room.” That doesn't even make sense to me. It got me thinking of some perfect paint names that actually relate to the whole painting experience. Here's a list of my top ten favorites.
1. Surprise, honey!
2. The kids fingerprints will look great on this color tomorrow.
3. Now you will need to buy new furniture to match this paint color.
4. Whoops! Was that a can of paint I just knocked over!
5. Your mother in law will say "That's different! "
6. Your father in law will never even notice.
7. You will be painting this wall again next year.
8. Your boys will make a hole in this wall.
9. Final straw.
10. Thanks for helping, honey.
For anyone interested in knowing how my painting experience turned out, I will give you a hint. It's my new favorite color. Number 10.
