I read the 50 Shades of Grey series. I kept seeing the cover everywhere, reading the hype online and without really knowing the subject matter of the series, I bought the trilogy on my eReader and added them to my summer reading list.
I'll just say, wow.
If you haven't heard of the E. L. James series and don't know what I'm talking about, head to Google and find out. Unless you're younger than 18. Or 20. I'm pretty sure I'm too young to have read that.
Anyway, sometimes I read at work when I have tons of downtime and no one is calling me back. It's an innocent habit that's just as much a time-waster as mindlessly staring at Twitter, which I do a lot of too. So I was sitting at my desk, reading the final 50 Shades on my Kobo at my desk.
And this is when the moral of the story comes in: don't read passionate (to be polite) novels at work. It's probably not something you should even mention reading, ever, to anyone. I'm sharing this with you as a cautionary tale.
Because no one ever attempts conversation with me after 4 p.m. at work, I figured I was safe reading a risqué novel. Plus, there's no cover to give away what I'm reading.
So of course my boss comes over to talk to me - and notices my Kobo, which I had promptly flipped upside down on my desk, and asks me to demonstrate how to turn the pages, since he's not really comfortable with his.
I very nearly died.
I turned bright red, dropped the Kobo on the floor in my fluster, tried to switch books to something a little less racy and stuttered helplessly.
My boss asks, "What are you reading?" because this is the appropriate response to my freak out.
And I, ever the one with a quick comeback or witty report, sat in my seat, sweating helplessly and forming words with my mouth that I was unable to speak. Finally, I squeaked out "I'd rather not say."
Death. Social death. My boss laughed, almost like he knew. Then I showed him how to tap the sides of the screen to turn pages.
I wish I could say I then woke up from a horrible dream.
So take heed: if you're going to read 50 Shades of Grey or any book of the sort, be smarter than I. First, leave the novel at home, the library, the bookstore, wherever you read. Second, develop some social skills. I could have been so much smoother in that situation. "Sorry, my Kobo just died." "Sorry, it's downloading a novel right now." "Sorry, I have no idea how to turn the pages."
Good luck.
Tonaya Marr will reply to e-mails at [email protected] or tweets send to @TonayaMarr. She promises to be a lot more composed over the Internet than she is in person.
