It’s difficult trying to conduct a normal Canadian life these days what with all that noise coming from the basement.
The U.S. president is issuing executive orders, whatever they are, banishing people from seven countries from entering the States then issuing directives to Mexico, as if he owned them, and cancelling a deal with 11 Asian nations, just because.
But I am still fixated on Canada and the fact that while the U.S. president may be rearranging every trade contract America ever made, we in Canada can’t even get our act together to arrange cross-province trade, let alone international deals. In fact we have better luck on the international front than we do nationally. That’s just sad.
But, as noted before in this space, we are distinctly different cultures in Canada.
What do we in Saskatchewan have in common with New Brunswick or B.C.?
Thousands of miles separate us, as do our cultures, even though we claim the same citizenship, or at least, most of us do.
I got thinking about that after our PM, Sunny Ways, the Sequel discovered the Prairies last week and found out we weren’t quite the same as the folks in his Montreal riding. He may eventually figure it out. We may not be that accomplished in Saskatchewan, but most of us know how to spell the name of our province. We know how to move snow around without having to shut everything down and we grow stuff on a big scale. We also organize killer beer gardens.
B.C.? Well, they can teach us how to button up cardigan sweaters properly and how to finance $8 million homes with $5 down and a promise to “pay the rest once that dude shows up with the drug money, or that guy from Beijing arrives with the magic suitcase.”
Alberta? Well, they have Edmonton and Calgary and Jasper and Banff and oil sands.
Saskatchewan? We are a miniature Alberta actually. We have Saskatoon and Regina, Waskesiu and Grasslands and Bakken oil.
Manitoba? They have Winnipeg. One city, one province, leave them alone. They were supposed to be the nation’s capital. Just leave them alone!
Ontario? A split personality and lots of land. They don’t know how to run a power company (they call it hydro), they have difficulties with their hockey, football, basketball and baseball teams, all located in the centre of the Canadian universe known as Toronto. People in Toronto have a persecution complex, and rightfully so.
Quebec? It knows how to milk federal money from the rest of us, and, in fact, that seems to be their sole reason for existence. They know all about the care and feeding of Mafia and biker gangs. They are Canadian leaders in fashion and last in ethics.
Atlantic Canada? They can teach us how to fiddle properly, fish commercially and laugh at all our differences. They will be the first to join Saskatchewanians in the beer gardens where we can sit down together and discuss “how come the rest of Canada just doesn’t get it,” over a couple of brewskies.
Northern Canada? What are you guys doing up there? Slide on down a few latitudes and join in the fun. We won’t trade with you either, but I bet you could teach us a thing or two.
Then we have the country of Ottawa. That’s where they change Canadian rules every four months and that’s one reason why we can’t trade with one another. They also like to irritate us in so many ways.
That’s our Canada. Ya gotta love it, eh?
