For many people, the holidays are a time of joy, hope and peace. We enjoy the carols and Christmas services. It is a time when family and friends gather and we enjoy many moments of reminiscing and telling stories of by-gone Christmas celebrations and activities. There usually is a bountiful supply of food and spirits, along with gift exchanges. These are the happy moments of Christmas.
Not all people are joyful this time of the year. Many times we do not realize that this can be a very difficult time for some families. Some people can't even listen to Christmas carols without tears flowing down their face. Not all families are celebrating at this time of the year.
What about the people who have just gotten the news that their job has come to an end? Unemployment has become a reality in our community and people lose their jobs even around the holidays. The potash mine has just given job notice to hundreds of workers within our province. How are these families feeling this Christmas?
What about the men and women in the armed forces who are deployed during the holidays? There will many emotions shared both from the men and women deployed, as well as those who are left behind. It will be a very difficult and sad time for children involved. For them the holidays are far from joyous.
What is a home like when separation and divorce has just happened? Spouses and children are far from joyous. The holidays may need to be shared with both parents. Who will have the children over the holidays this year? This is difficult for parents, but it has a much greater impact on the children. Many children affected are young and need to deal with many strong emotions.
If we repress our emotions, they often boil over when we least expect it. We need to deal with our emotions and find positive ways to express our feelings. Talking with someone we trust and can be accepting of us no matter how we feel may be helpful.
My mother died days before Christmas. I was unable to celebrate, cook, clean, bake, shop or do anything that year. My husband found a ceramic tree that was all decorated which stood about two feet high, and that was an effort for me to get out of the box and place on the table that first Christmas. It took 2-3 years until I even had the energy to put up a Christmas tree or do any festive activities.
I have been told "There is no such a thing as a Blue Christmas." The birth of the Christ child is always joyous and wonderful. I agree that is a wonderful message- but I will also acknowledge the feelings of those who say, "My loss really hurts this year and it does not feel joyful. It feels like a Blue Christmas to me."
In many communities we will be able to attend a Blue Christmas service. It is a "Service of Remembering, Hope and Healing." We are able to remember within a safe environment all our losses. We need to make the time and space to acknowledge our feelings of sadness. Many funeral homes or churches host Blue Christmas services designed to give comfort and healing and new hope to people in our community who have experienced a loss.
"Remember: grief is both necessary and a privilege. It comes as a result of giving and receiving love." - Dr. Alan Wolfelt
Margaret Anne Yost nursed for 35 years. Returning back to school I completed classes from the Red River College in the areas of Gerontology, Bereavement, Death and Dying. For twelve years I worked in bereavement support at a Funeral Home.
I was employed as Parish Worker at a Lutheran Church. At present I am enjoying my role as homemaker, wife, mother and grandmother.
